Thursday, August 2, 2012
So, I got worse and worse and finally went back to the doctor and they said that I had the flu and pharyngitis. Everything was looking pretty bleak on Monday, it was not a great day. It was pretty unbearable, I was almost unable to swallow my own spit and the pain from my throat was agonising. I had been on anti-biotics for 5 days and nothing had changed, in fact I had gotten worse. I had Monday off from work and asked my (new) boss if I could work from home for the rest of the week which he was agreeable to so after some serious resting on Monday, things slightly improved on Tuesday and hugely improved on Wednesday!
In the dark days of Monday, I wondered if the cycle was compromised. It is not a nice place to be but I just had to keep telling myself, I am going on this trip, I am going to get myself well and I am going to give these beautiful embryos the best chance in life possible. The rollercoaster is in full force, I keep thinking that I am ready and all is going well and then *bam* something will happen and I think that it is all going to hell. I think the hardest thing to keep on a cycle is your equilibrium. That is hard for me at the best of times but add in hormones, stress and leaving the men in my life for 10 days and it is super tough.
Now that I am on the mend, I am back to being enthusiastic and excited about the trip. There is still the fear that this cycle will be a failure but at the end of the day, whatever will be, will be. I am trying to focus on the positives about this trip (having a trip with my best mate, getting treatments, sleeping, shopping, relaxing, getting pregnant of course!!
In my true nerdy style, I have analysed all 3 previous cycles to see what the differences are to this cycle. Here is my analysis:
So the biggest thing that I see here is that with JBB, I had 24 days of Progynova and of course we know that ended up being a successful cycle. The Oct and Dec cycles had significantly less days of Progynova to develop the lining (-7 and -6 respectively), so hopefully the big positive of this cycle is that I have almost the same number of days of Progynova as I did with JBB. The other aspect, of course, is the quality of the embryo’s. We had excellent quality for both JBB and for Oct-11 but Dec-11 weren’t as good but this time we have one embryo that is the same quality as JBB as well as an extra one. At the end of the day, we all know that there is no way to tell what cycle will be successful and which won’t be but I feel relieved that this coming cycle is much closer to mirroring (in lining prep and embryo quality) our successful cycle with JBB. There is no guarantees that it will work but I feel like we have a great chance. Added to this is the fact that I have lost a good deal of weight from the Oct & Dec-11 cycles and although I have not reached the same weight that I was at for JBB, I think I made really good improvements.
It is three weeks to go. My focus is to keep my body strong and nourished. Relax as much as possible and minimise the roller coaster. Until Sunday, I am focussing on getting as much sleep and ensuring that I am as completely recovered as possible.