Project Relax

So, I have started on Project Relax and I have made a very good dent in it but firstly let me update you on my visit to the clinic. My lining is looking good at 7.6, the doctor was very pleased but my estrogen level was a little low so I have been given some patches along with the other handfuls of drugs that I am taking. Here is my list this time:

Progynova x 3 per day
Duphaston x 2 per day
Prednisolone x 2 per day
Chinese herbs x 2 per day
Clexane injection x 1 per day
Estrogen patches x 1 per week
HCG injection

Today was a pretty good day, I was able to focus totally on getting ready for the transfer. I had a great sleep last night and this morning, I got up and did my yoga and listened to my hypnosis a couple of times, then I went and found a place to have a massage, which was really nice. After I had some lunch, I called JourneyMan and JBB, who are having a great time!! I miss them both like crazy, plus of course my little doggie. In the afternoon, I read by the pool to get some vitamin d in and then saw a movie this evening. All in all a good day.

It is lonely though being here without my boys but that is a small price to pay of this works. I have travelled many times on my own in my earlier days and alwys enjoyed it but now that I have a family, it's way different, I feel like one foot is still at home with them. I have to focus though, this is the best gift I can give JBB and that is the gift of a sibling.

Hopefully we are one step closer to that today.

We have embryo's - 13 of them!!

The fertilisation report is in and we have 13 embryo's, this is compared to 8 last time so I am very happy. There were only 18 mature eggs so that was a pretty good rate I believe. I feel pretty good about the whole situation. I find it very hard not to compare this cycle with the last one and one of the things that I have realised is that last time, I was able to relax pretty well before the cycle through massages and plenty of sleep and all of that but I am definitely not relaxing as much this time as last time though. However, this time I am way, way happier than I was that last cycle.

This was illustrated yesterday when JourneyMan, JBB and I went investigating a Thai massage. Our intention was to both have a massage separately once JBB was in bed so that one of us could be with him at all times. When we got there, they convinced us to have a massage together and JBB could be in the room. Honestly, it was one of the funniest experiences I've ever had. I think I have mentioned before that a Thai massage is a combination of a massage and a yoga class - I love them!! Anyway, picture this: JourneyMan and I have changed into traditional Thai gear and are lying on the massage mats on the floor in a beautifully restful Thai spa room. Then add in one little hurricane that we call JBB and it wasn't the most relaxing massage I have ever had in my life. At one point, he found a box and put it on my face, throughout the whole time he was climbing all over us, pushing anything that he could find around the room, trying to massage us, talking to the Thai masseuse ladies (who adored him) and screaming in delight at the top of his lungs. As I say, I didn't walk out of the room completely relaxed but I did walk out of there completely happy.

Today, I went for another massage (foot reflexology and back and shoulder) and JourneyMan took JBB shopping. When I got back (completely relaxed this time!!) I found JBB in a shirt with a picture of Papa Smurf on it with a caption - I Heart Papa. I was laughing for a while because it is a pretty cool shirt but I was happy for JourneyMan because JBB has plenty of shirts that say things like 'my heart belongs to mum', 'I dig my mum' etc (incidentally, I have only bought him one of these tops, he has been given all of the others) and JourneyMan has often complained that there are no shirts around saying 'I love my Dad' - they all tend to say, 'my dad loves me'. So JourneyMan is all chuffed with JBB's shirt and I can see JBB wearing it a lot in the future..

We finished off the day with a swim in the pool and some pants off time for JBB on the outdoor deck in our room. Yesterday, pants off time (he's got a bit of nappy rash and we want to let the air onto his bum) ended abruptly when JBB squatted down to leave a poo on the decking. I was taking a picture of him at the time - though had accidentally hit the video button and we now have it captured for all time. I'm saying we will use it for JBB's 21st birthday party but JourneyMan refuses - I have to admit, I don't think I could be that cruel. Gosh we laughed though and crazily enough, these moments mean as much to me as the beautiful ones when JBB comes to give me a hug or a kiss. These are the intimate moments that no-one else sees, these are the moments that make our family. Honestly, I am having the time of my life, poop deck and all!!