The Move...

Well, we have moved but it really was a case of ‘the best laid plans…’.  

It all started on Wednesday night last week when I was just about to put JBB to bed.  JourneyMan wasn’t home yet and I had kept JBB up a little later so that he could see his Dad before he went to bed.  Before I knew what was happening, JBB had climbed onto the kitchen bar stool and had fallen off it flat on his back and I heard his head whack onto the floorboards, it was sickening.

He started screaming immediately and I gathered him up to soothe him when I felt that the back of his head had already swelled up as big as a fist.  I was beside myself, I felt like a terrible, neglectful mother.  I called the ‘nurses on call’ phone line and they recommended that I take him to emergency because of the height that he fell from.

4 and a half hours later, we finally made it home with our little monkey who they declared probably had a bit of a headache but was okay otherwise.  I only got about 3 hours of sleep that night and we were already seriously behind in our packing.

On Friday, the day of the big move, we were up at 5am packing and getting everything ready – we were not really ready at all for the removalists to come, we still had mega amounts to fix.  I was already tired when the removalists came but we all had to soldier on.  Let me tell you a little about Friday.  It rained. A lot.  In fact, we got a months worth of rain in the one day.  This did not make the move go any easier.

I also critically misjudged the amount of work that this move was going to take and really when I look back, the last move that I planned was only my stuff from a one bedroom place.  Now our stuff has tripled (and then some!) and it took way longer.  The heating wasn’t working at the new house and honestly, it was soooo freezing.

Thankfully by the afternoon, the heating was fixed and JBB and JourneyDog had arrived to lend their hands to the move.  Well, honestly – their reactions to the new house made all the work worthwhile.  They ran and ran, laughing and barking and both were just delighted at the space that they now had to explore.  It made me sigh with relief, I would have been very upset if they didn’t take to it the way that they have.

It was not a perfect move.  We spent the rest of Saturday and Sunday cleaning the old place and readying it for the new tenant so the new house is a bit of a debacle.  So, I am going to have to take small steps at a time but I swear to you all that this house will be nice and organised and absolutely, 100% baby ready in the next few weeks.  

It is funny but I was saying to my bestie that I had previously had doubts about how I could handle another baby in the house.  I don’t feel that way any more.  I feel like I can now handle whatever comes my way.  I may wail for awhile, or procrastinate or get upset or want to throw my toys from the cot but as always, I will pick myself up, dust myself off and get busy being the best mum, wife, sister, daughter, niece and friend that I can be!!

The house is a mess, and I am bloody exhausted but I am very excited about what the future holds!

Letting go…..

We have been in our little house for nearly 6 years – I am staggered by that!  Now we are packing up six years of memories.  Before we moved in to this house, we weren’t married or even engaged, I had never even lived with a man before.  We weren’t infertile, we didn’t even know what a cycle was, we weren’t parents.  We didn’t have our darling JBB, we didn’t even have our little JourneyDog of Wool.  I was a different person then. 

It is nice that we feel the need to move because we became a family and our family has become too big for our house.  There were times in the journey that I didn’t think that this would ever happen.  I sometimes think that there are memories that I would like to forget, such as howling in pain after I went to egg pick up and there were no eggs but would I enjoy being JBB’s Mum so much if I didn’t have that memory?  Would I delight in the fact that every day he says ‘Mummy’ over and over again – I assure you, I never get sick of it.  

We’ve danced in that house, we’ve loved in that house, we’ve grieved in that house but most of all, we have lived.  We live a pretty quiet life.  We have friends that we see, we have family that we celebrate and commiserate with. We work, we play and we rest. Mostly, we have each other.  My life is filled with love and if I have had some grief along the way, it is a small price to pay for the amazing love that I have in my life.

For the past few months, I have been doing a lot of questioning.  Why is it so hard for me and not others?  Why, out of all my siblings, did I seem to get the defective bits?  Why do I even want another child, why can’t I be satisfied with one?  Why, why, why?  Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve stopped questioning why, because really, what the hell does it matter?  I feel good that I let myself question and rail against the answers because I feel like I have a modicum of peace.  

We are clearing a lot out as we move – I love a good purge of stuff, it feels great.  I will take the memories with me, though - the good, the bad, the joyful and the sad – they’ve made me who I am and now I look toward our new house.  A house that has space for our family to expand once again.  I am really ready for this next cycle.  My arms, my mind and heart are open wide.

We're Moving!

It has been a pretty hectic couple of weeks. As per my plan (I need to do an update post on the plan but suffice to say it is all going very well), I got all of my taxes up to date and the accountant advised that we would be better off renting at this point and renting out our own place. So, since that meeting, we have been looking at houses to rent and getting an agent to rent out our place and we now we are moving to the new house in under 3 weeks! 

The house is beautiful, it has 3 large bedrooms, a nice big living area, a sunroom, renovated kitchen and bathroom and a lovely big backyard for JBB to stretch out his legs in. It is going to be nice to have some space around us as we have been pretty squashed in our place for the past few months. It is only a couple of suburbs away but closer to the city so both of our commutes will be shorter, yay! We will, however, have to move JBB from his current day care, after all the drama at the start, he loves it there now and doesn't want to come home when I pick him up! 

All the same, there is part of me that is sad to be leaving our house. It is the first place we have owned. It is the first place that JourneyMan and I lived together. It is the place that we got JourneyDog who is Woolly, it is where the whole of our IF journey has taken place. We have completely renovated the place and I am going to miss it but still, it will be nice to have space around us. Lastly, the new place sends a clear message to the universe that we have a room to fill. We have the space in our hearts and in our house for a beautiful sister or brother for JBB. 

I think it's a positive move for our family and I hope that family increases in the near future.