Tomorrow....

So, yesterday Boo2 stopped moving much again.  I tried all the tricks to get him moving, pushing and poking, cold drinks, sugary drinks, changing position to one I know he doesn’t like but nothing.  I called the OB’s after hours number at about 9:30pm because I was getting really worried, normally at that time, he is quite active and kicking but still, nothing.

The OB (who happened to be the fill in OB that I had had the issue with previously) said to go into labour and delivery immediately to have him monitored so we called my Mum and she came over to sit in the house with JBB asleep and we drove in to the hospital. 

Once we were in, the monitoring went pretty quickly and I felt like little Boo2 had made a bit of a mockery of me as he started moving when we were there.  I was hugely relieved because previously, there had been nothing I could do to raise him.  The fill in OB said that if the monitoring went well, we could go straight home and she would inform our normal OB of what had happened in the morning.

So, this morning I got a call from the OB saying that it was time to get this kid out, even though the monitoring was fine, he was concerned that this reduction in movement was recurring.  He said he would see if he could find a time over the next day or so to get him out.  Then I got a call from his office saying that there was a space available at 3:30pm and could we get to the hospital at 1pm.

Then everything went into overdrive, I called JourneyMan and told him to get his bum home, called my Mum to see if she could take care of JBB for the day and the night.  My sister also came over to help out so I could at least get in the bath and wash my horrible hair (she also straightened it for me, bless her!).  Finally, JourneyMan and I headed off to the hospital and we waited for our room to become available.

After awhile, I got a call from my OB and he had talked to the anaesthetist and that we couldn’t go ahead with the Caesarean today because I had had a needle of Clexane last night and they needed to wait a bit longer to get it out of my system.  They did want me to stay in the hospital though so that they could monitor the baby to make sure that all is good.  So, we will meet our little man tomorrow.

So that is where I am now, at the hospital, being pregnant for my last ever night and looking forward to seeing my new little man tomorrow.  JourneyMan was here with me but had to go home to look after JBB, so he won’t be back until tomorrow morning.  My Bestie dropped in on her way home from work and spent a few hours with me and it was great to just talk, really great.

There are a lot of feelings going through me at the moment.  Relief that I will see my little man soon, grief that my Dad isn’t going to be here to see him, excitement that our family will soon be complete, fear for the Caesarean tomorrow. 

I am in awe that this brings to an end our journey through infertility.  Have we beaten it and won?  I would more consider that it is a happy truce.  Infertility kicked us hard but we fought to be parents and that is who we are today.  I am sure it is who I was born to be.  There have been many participants along our road, fertility specialists both in Australia and Thailand, nurses, patient coordinators, sonographers, obstetricians, our whole team in Thailand, our beautiful, generous donor and family and friends.  It has taken a lot of people to get to this point and there are more that will help bring Boo2 into the world tomorrow.

There are no words to thank all of these people who have helped realize this precious dream.  My heart is overwhelmed with the gratitude that I feel for each and every person who has helped us.

To my darling Boo2:

I have dreamt of you, I have felt you move, I have travelled thousands of miles to have you, I have done everything I can to ensure your safe entry into the world, you are wanted in every way possible, you are my boy and I love you already, even though I haven’t seen your face yet.  Sweetheart, I can’t wait until you are in my arms tomorrow, I won’t ever want to let you go.

Here is your song:  Credit – ‘In my Life’ The Beatles, The Red Album

All my life though some have changed

Some forever not for better

Some have gone and some remain

All these places had their moments

With lovers and friends I still can recall

Some are dead and some are living

In my life I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers

There is no one compares with you

And these memories lose their meaning

When I think of love as something new

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life I love you more

Though I know I'll never lose affection

For people and things that went before

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life I love you more

In my life I love you more

I know I'll often stop and think about them

In my life I love you more

In my life I love you more

37 Weeks and Counting Down - 11 Days to go

I am definitely on the countdown now - I am really ready to meet our little guy now.  It's been a pretty uncomfortable week.  Lots of cramping, back pain and stabbers in the lady bits, ouch! I feel like I am blown up like a balloon with all the fluid as well.  Boo2's room is ready for him, the hospital is essentially packed and I am preparing for a big cook up next week.  So we are all ready!!

I had my 37 week appointment today with the OB.  I had noticed that Boo2's movements had reduced over the last few days so I had another monitor, thankfully that was all good.  If he is still not moving much over the weekend, I am to go back in to be monitored again on Sunday.  I think that he is just not moving as much because he is a bit squashed now.  His heart rate was excellent!!  Looks like we are going to make it to the Ceasarean date of 7 May - so the countdown is well and truly on.  Only 11 more days to go.  I hope that they go fast!!

In the very best of news, they have changed the policy of the hospital so that JourneyMan and Boo2 will be able to come to recovery with me.  Last time with JBB, I had about half an hour of cuddle time with JBB while they cleaned him off and sewed me up and then JourneyMan and JBB went back to the room (and got JBB weighed etc) and I was in recovery, I think for about 40mins to an hour.  This news has really made my day - now I will be with my boys while I recover.  I can have some skin to skin time all of that time in recovery as well as to try to breastfeed straight away.  Big Yay! My Mum will be bringing JBB in to see Boo2 asap so he will meet him as soon as we are allowed to go back to the room. 

Tomorrow, I am heading to the market to get all the food needed for our cook up.  I am going to fill the freezer up with healthy lunches and dinners and snacks so that we will have a few weeks of food when I get home from the hospital without too much hassle.  We did the same before JBB was born and it was great to have healthy food only a defrost away. My bestie is coming over for a visit on Saturday arvo so that will be nice to see her. 

Sunday is going to be a nice rest day though I daresay a bit of cleaning will need to be done, I at least need to defrost the freezers so that there is room for the food from the cook up.  My sisters and Mum are coming over on Monday to help out with the cook up which is brilliant news!!  With 4 of us, we should be able to get it done pretty quickly.  Tuesday, JourneyMan's Mum comes over to spend a few hours with us (and she takes JBB to the park to run the energy out of him!!).  Wednesday, I think I will get to the shops for a few last minute items and then Thursday I am back to the OB.  

11 more days.......

Twas the night before the ceasar.....

Yay - we made it - this time tomorrow, we will have our darling JBB in our arms - we are just SOOOOO excited but I must admit that it is pretty surreal. I was talking to my bestie tonight and we were thinking about all that has happened and now our day is finally here. After 6 IVF cycles, 2 laparoscopies for me and a vasectomy reversal for JourneyMan, a lap band surgery for me, 40kg's of weight loss, a trip to Thailand, acupuncture and natural therapies without count and 9 months of pregnancy - we are here!! It is very, very surreal and I am very nervous about the ceasar but I am focussed on that moment when they put JBB in my arms - I am beside myself to meet him.

The past couple of days have been wonderful, in fact the past 5 weeks since I have left work have been a lovely saionara to my fancy free days - I have savoured every minute. I am happy to wave goodbye to those days and am looking forward to my new challenge - motherhood!!

I expect that JourneyMan will do the next update to let you know how everything went - thanks again for all of your good wishes my friends!!

Ceasarean Birth Class - Yikes!

So, JourneyMan and I went to the Ceasarean birth class yesterday and it really brought everything clearly into focus. I am not allowed to drive for 6 weeks. I can't lift anything over 4-5kg's for 12 weeks (yikes!). Recovery is going to take a while. They went through the whole day of surgery plus the next 48 hours and whilst is scared the hell out of me, it also allowed me to visualise how and when I will see JBB for the first time and what will happen from then on. JourneyMan takes it all his stride, nothing seems to phase him though I do note that he is not the one who will be having major abdominal surgery. I have had operations before but this will be the most major and with the longest recovery time but thankfully I will have little JBB to take care of and take the focus!!

I think I mainly felt scared because I am not prepared yet. The house has not been finished, the house hasn't been baby proofed, we haven't bought hardly anything and what we have been given, I am not sure of whether it complies with Australian standards. I sat down today and started making some lists, so now I feel a little better though there is a lot to do and only a little bit of time left, we are going to need to get our skates on!!

I heard JourneyMan talking on the phone to a prospective employer yesterday (before the class!) and he was talking about what time he would need to take off for the birth of the baby and said one day - holy moly, I said I would need him home for at least a week - I think that he realised that though after the class. Luckily, my mum only lives around the corner and my MIL is not too far away either and both of them have offered their help (which I am sure I will be availing myself of!). I had lunch with my older sister today (who has 3 boys) and she has advised me that if anyone asks if they can do anything to help, let them!! I think that is good advice but it will also take some practice I believe.

Every day I get more excited (and nervous) - time seems to have sped up like you wouldn't believe - so much to do, so little time!!