Goodbye 2011

It has been a year of ups and downs. The year started out pretty rough, JourneyMan did not have a job and my work wanted me back but only if they could pay me less than what I was earning before I left to have JBB. I was worried at this time, I tried to put a brave face on it but IF has a habit of leaving you wi not many financial resources and we couldn't survive for long with both of us not working. That turned around pretty quickly though, JourneyMan got a job that he is super good at, so much so that he is in the running to win a trip for us to Hawaii! I'm so proud of how he has turned it around.

Thanks to my amazing Bestie, she was able to get an interview for me at her work and I got the job and we have been working together ever since. This was a massive change for me, not only did it give my resume a boost but I got to work with my best mate and it was great fun. It was so nice to have her to talk to and laugh with at work!

JBB was the shining light of 2011 and we revelled in the changes that he made every day. He learned to laugh, say words, crawl, walk on his knees, walk and now of course if he goes anywhere, it is at a dead run! He has learned to feed himself, drink water out of his sippy cup and just last week, he learned to give proper hugs, definitely one of the highlights of my year. He also turned one and his birthday festivities were super fun. I also turned 40, which was not my favorite time of the year.

Our family trip to Thailand for cycle 2.0 was fun and it was amazing that JBB got to meet the donor, that was another great moment in the year. Unfortunately, that cycle was not successful and this also coloured the trip to Thailand, I couldn't really think of the trip without feeling like a failure. Without a moment to spare, were then onto planning cycle Thailand 2.1, we had to get in quick because it matched in with our holiday plans, so we had to cancel our family holiday to the coast and I would come to Thailand again.

The worst moments of the year was when JBB got sick. I felt numb, I could not conceive of anything being seriously wrong with him. Thankfully he has recovered well but there is that niggling in my heart until he is cleared of any heart damage, hopefully in late January.

I now sit in the closing hours of 2011 away from my family, friends and everyone I love. I'm glad to say goodbye to 2011, it hasn't been my worst year but I look to 2012 with great hope. Hope that my darling boy is cleared from heart damage, hope that this cycle gives JBB the greatest gift we can offer him, a sibling. A hope that our struggles with IF are over and we can move into our future as a complete family.

These are the dreams that I hold in my heart when I wake up to 2012. This is what I will focus on at the transfer tomorrow.

Happy New Year everybody. I hope your dreams come true in 2012.