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Sunday, April 8, 2012

Irked by the Fertiles

Some days I don't feel like I have dealt with the infertile in me all, some days the things that Fertiles say, no matter how innocuous, feel like they are stabbing my heart. I know that it is my own issue to deal with, I know that I should probably have gotten over it by now but just when I think my infertile heart has the armour to withstand the things people say, an arrow gets through.

During the week, I went to a doctor to get some blood tests done that the naturopath had recommended. I was in the waiting room and there was another woman in there is a couple of months old baby. She annoyed me right off the bat because she talked about everything in a loud voice for everyone to hear, I really don't like that, I like to keep myself to myself and don't want to be forced to listen to other people's issues. I heard all about their trip to Fiji and how the baby needed immunisations (and perhaps a boat considering the country is flooded right now - meee-ow!) I heard how her husband is away and she was having to get up to the baby and the toddler on her own at night. I could have also marked down when her next appointment with the doctor was, it was a 10 minute discussion to get the date correct. Then I found out that they had to 'hurry up and have their third baby very soon because the doctor was retiring'.

This was at the point in which I did a mental double take. I mean, doesn't she have to plan for a year to start trying, go back to work early, save up money, lose weight, remove all chemicals fro her life, go to counseling, see her acupuncturist each week, do yoga every day, do detox hydrotherapies every day, only eat organically, buy air purifiers, vitamin supplements, organic cotton sheets and pj's, have fertility tea every day, listen to subliminals, do hypnosis, they to get her whole family to send positive thoughts via elephant key rings, find time to meditate, do positive imaging exercises, make up a mind map and find a way to remove all stress. No, apparently all she needs to do is to get her husband to free up a day or two in the next month and she will be knocked up again and able to have her doctor of choice for her third pregnancy because God forbid, she wouldnt want to have to **gasp** find another doctor for her pregnancy, that would be way too hard.

Okay, whinge over, I'm off to have a clay bath.


  1. Ugh - I know! We're agonising over whether to do a FET with our remaining DE embryos (weighing up health, employment, finance, advanced age, chances of success, the fact that our embryos will be left to perish if we don't) while my fellow NCT mums plan their next babies around when they're going to be a bridesmaid and their next foreign holiday and blithely saying that *when* they have another, if it's the same gender as the one they already have, they *will* have a 3rd. It's not as hard as it was when I had no baby, but it still shocks me how nonchalant some folk are about their reproduction.

  2. Wouldn't it be nice to just be able to plan for a pregnancy and baby that way? We were six months in TTC and a friend was telling me how upset she was when she didn't get pregnant with #2 the first month they tried, 'But then, it did take two months to have Claire (their firstborn).' If she only knew. She went on to have two entire pregnancies and her youngest was already a toddler before we even got pregnant.