Time feels like it is passing SO fast – only 62 days until we go to Thailand. I am very excited though getting a bit nervous. I am off to the Melbourne Fertility Specialist tomorrow to get all of the prescriptions that I need for the cycle and that will be the last doctors appointment (apart from my Bariatric fill doctor) before I go – wow, a whole 62 days without a doctors appointment, amazing!
Okay, so where were we on IVF past? Well, we just had a failed IVF cycle (#4) and we needed a break. I was physically, emotionally and spiritually exhausted by this time – it was a tough, tough time. The cycle was a bit more successful than those previous because of the 6 eggs retrieved but still we only had 2 embryos reach day 2 and neither of those stuck. I don’t know if I mentioned it before but because of my weight, my Fertility Specialist had mentioned Lap Band surgery to me. I had researched it previously but then started to consider it seriously. My main reason for going for the Lap Band was that even though I had been able to lose weight in the past, I had never been able to keep it off. In the lead up to our wedding, JourneyMan and I went on a very strict eating plan and I lost just over 23kg’s (50lbs) in 17 weeks.
I looked great at the wedding but almost immediately started putting on weight, very, very quickly – especially once the IVF started – I was comfort eating like there was no tomorrow. I knew that even though I can lose weight (usually by eating a very restrictive diet), that when I got pregnant I would go crazy on food and put on thousands of kilos. So even before I started IVF cycle 4, I knew that if it was unsuccessful, I would have the Lap Band surgery. For those of you that don’t know, the Lap Band is a surgical weight loss tool that is completely adjustable which means that you can have it tight (to lessen the amount of food that you are able to eat as well as making you feel full most of the time) but it can also be loosened off – for such things as pregnancy. It was not a decision that I entered into lightly and I have now had the band for just over 12 months and I have lost over 36kg (80lbs) which has made a huge difference to my life – I am very, very happy that I decided to have the band, I have really taken back my health.
So I had the surgery a couple of months after cycle 4 and then set about the business of recovering and then getting fit and healthy again. The band has made such a huge change in my life and one of the decisions that I made when I decided to have the surgery was that I would need to examine the behavioural and emotional reasons why I continued to yo-yo with my weight – it has been quite a journey that of course will never end, I am learning and growing all the time. I am happy to tell you that doing this work has really made a huge difference to my life. One thing that I have realized in the last month is that I look fantastic as I am now. I am not in my healthy weight range yet but this is a huge step for me as I previously was ultra critical of myself – I think one of the main differences is that I have not focused on looking better, only on my health and well being – I really want to be a healthy mum to my children.
So that is the story of the Lap Band – I am very, very glad that I decided to do it, it has really made a huge difference to my life. Okay, I am off to have a lie down on the couch again – gosh, I am so exhausted at the moment, hopefully will completely recover soon!! I am thinking that my 10km run on Sunday is going to be a run / walk but that’s okay – I don’t punish myself with exercise anymore – I exercise to feel good and I love it (usually when it’s over!!).