Tuesday, May 4, 2010
I am sure that you are all sick to death of the talk about the cramps but my goodness, they are pretty bad at the moment. I feel like I only really had a week or so of a reprieve when I started the progesterone and now they have come back with a vengeance, tonight is particularly bad. At last Friday's scan, my cervix had also shortened, not significantly (4mm - am hoping it is just the difference in the measuring by the sonographer) but enough to worry me. Cap that off with the fact that JourneyMan has finished his job and has not got a new one yet, I am in a bit of a hole of worry. I am hoping like hell that the cervix hangs in there because we need the money from my job right now - I am feeling quite alot of pressure. Don't get me wrong, JourneyMan is doing everything possible to get a job but I am feeling quite breathless with the crushing weight of responsibility right now.
My Dad also seems to be deteriorating quite rapidly. He had been in the hospital for 3 weeks but he got out just in time for him and Mum to go with some friends to Norfolk Island, I think it will be the last time he can go on holiday. The specialists have reiterated that there is nothing further that they can do about the hydrocephalus but they also said that he would deteriorate much quicker if he got any infections and he has had pneumonia which hasn't helped matters. It is such a tough situation because he cannot reason about the situation and is getting more agressive and paranoid as time goes on.
On the positive side of things, JBB has been moving around like crazy. JourneyMan has even felt it a couple of times and his face was fabulous when he felt him do a big kick.
I am trying to relax as much as possible but at the moment, I am finding it quite tough. I am hoping JBB is going well. I am hoping that the cervix is all good at this Friday's check. I am hoping JourneyMan gets a job really soon. I am hoping my Dad finds some peace within himself.