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Sunday, January 9, 2011

A dream...

Two nights ago I had a dream that I was pregnant. Not only pregnant, 4 months pregnant (that would be pretty fast work considering JBB is 4 and a half months). It was a confusing dream because someone else was also pregnant - I think it was either my younger sister or my bestie and we were talking all things preggo.

There is a little yearning in me that wishes it could be that simple for us. The world of people having sex and **poof** after 9 months, there is a baby who joins the family. Sometimes I wonder if there are any of those people left in the world but I was at a one year old's birthday party yesterday that showed me that there definitely is. I suppose the dream is a prelude to JourneyMan's & my healthy eating plan that starts tomorrow. The theme of which is to 'eat only that which we would want JBB ] to eat'. We are both a bit of junk food addicts and generally whilst we try to eat healthily during the week, we go a bit crazy on the weekend. This healthy eating plan is our first effort in getting our bodies ready for Thailand trip take 2.

This small step throws me back into the IVF world of healthy eating, acupuncture, herbs, fertility tea, castor oil packs, not eating peas because they are not conducive to fertility (who knew?), handfuls of vitamins and supplements, caffeine free days, wearing orange pj pants because orange is the colour of fertility - in essence, this throws me back into my crazy 'do everything I can' mode. I don't know if I am ready for it yet. One thing that the holiday away showed me was that I still have some unresolved issues to discuss with the counsellor and certainly I would like to be in a better place mentally before we start trying for JBBS (JourneyBabyBoy'sSibling). I want to enjoy JBB's every little minute - he is precious and growing sooooo fast I just can't believe it!

So, as I dip my toe back into getting back into shape (probably a long road, I put on a lot of weight during the pregnancy), I am going to focus on the fact of being healthy for myself, JourneyMan and JBB, both of whom need me to be at my best and healthiest. I will separate these efforts from the next Thailand trip - I will get back to being fit, yeah - this will be fun (and scary!).

Wouldn't it be great though? You have sex with your beloved, you get pregnant and have a baby - simplicity itself and nary an orange fertility pj in sight!


  1. It is so hard to think about stepping back into the treatment real when you finally have a baby because you know that it will take too much focus away from the most important thing in your life: your child.

    Big kudos for eating better. We did the same thing, only our daughter definitely eats better than we do. We also started buy organic in the areas that matter most. Some things it doesn't really matter as much if it is organic, like with fruits and veggies, but when it comes to meat and dairy, it matters.

    Best wishes on the new diet!

  2. For me stepping back into treatment is effectively willingly stepping back into the darkness of hell. I hope it will go smoothly for you and your journey to JBBS is a short one!

  3. Oh yes, that would be absolutely wonderful. *goes out and buys more orange clothes*

    Wishing you luck getting healthy!