In the last couple of days, my stomach has really popped out. So much so that I feel that I finally really look pregnant. In a weird way, I think I guess I was denying that I really looked pregnant. Mainly because of the reason that I had a dent in the middle of my stomach so I didn't really have that round, basketball look - I felt that I looked more fat that pregnant.
Now, I really feel like I look pregnant and I tell you, I like it!! I am very basketball like and I feel really good about that - if I am brutally honest, I can't stop going and looking at myself in the mirror (narcissistic much!?!?). This is great news because I have always had a very fraught relationship with my shape. Funnily enough, I had finally accepted my pear shaped body - loving my flat stomach, small waist and top and accepting of my larger thighs and bum, no longer trying to exercise them away, just accepting that this is the shape I was born with. Then I got pregnant and I have to admit, I kind of freaked because my waist disappeared straight away and I was bloated right from the beginning so my flat stomach was also gone.
For a long time I felt that people were looking at me and thinking 'here we go again' because I thought they would think I was putting on weight again (being the yo-yo from way back) and not that I was pregnant - I mean, honestly, as if people don't have enough to do with their time!! I did go through a time where I felt like I needed Tim Gunn or Trinny and Susannah to tell me what to wear since I had no idea to dress for my new shape. Now I have decided on an 'emphasise the bump' strategy - it is very freeing.
It is nice to like my body after many years of (quite frankly) blatant hatred of it. After feeling for many years that my body had betrayed me because of the issues that I have, I really feel that I have started to embrace my body. It is nice to feel appreciate of my body and the fact that I have finally been able to experience pregnancy. I feel very womanly and probably for the first time, satisfied with my body. I am sure that I will continue to struggle with my body issues into the future but I feel that I have really made huge leaps.
Posts
What a positive post - this is great to read. I totally know what you mean about not knowing how to dress once the bloat starts. I'm really looking forward to having a more obviously 'pregnant' belly so I can dress like a pregnant lady. If I wear maternity clothes now it just makes me look fat, but regular clothes feel uncomfortable and aren't flattering to my new shape. Bring on the basketball!
ReplyDeleteIsn't it lovely how that little baby bumps makes you feel? I used to stare at mine every chance I got too. It is more than just being pregnant, for you and me, it is the prize for a battle well-fought and won. It is the culmination of years of strife and struggle for the betterment of ourselves by creating offspring.
ReplyDeleteLove that bump and look at it every chance you get!
What a great honest post!
ReplyDeleteI love that you have come to terms with and embraced your body and that you have a lovely round basketball belly!
I am so looking forward to that part ( I think!)