Struggling

Last night, I couldn't stop crying. Dad had the appointment (my Mum and Aunty went along) with the doctor yesterday and my sister and I went to see how they were going. My Aunty did a wonderful job of capturing all of the information from the doctor and she sent and email to all of us detailing what had happened. I have read it a few times but the part that leapt out at me was that 'with treatment he could have 2+ years and without it, probably around 12 months'. To see it in black and white - it was like a vice was put around my heart and some nasty bastard started winding it in. I started crying and unfortunately set off my sister and mum. We had a group hug and sobbed for a while.

Dad's not going that great. He had an accident and my Mum told me later that he said to her 'I'm going to have to go to a home, aren't I?'. My Mum burst out crying as she told me and seriously, that vice just got wound in tighter and tighter. I dread what is going to happen in the coming months. I dread it for my Dad, I dread it for my Mum - I dread it for all of us.

My younger sister is struggling and it is breaking my heart because, after years and years of trying to find the right man, it looks like he has finally shown up and I know that my sister can't help but wonder if Dad will be around to walk her down the aisle.

I don't mean to be a 'poor me' as I know that many of you have been through similar and even more horrendous situations - I am merely trying to express my feelings in a constructive way.

I'm trying to stay positive but also face the situation head-on but I am struggling.