Saturday, April 6, 2013
So, I have now it looks like I have obstetric cohlestasis which is a disfunction of the liver due to the plethora of hormones in the body during pregnancy. Apparently the body dumps bile salts into the blood stream and this can cause unbearable itching and dangers to the placenta and baby. It hasn't been confirmed 100% at this point but I have been put on the medication as a precaution. Let me tell you, the itching is absolutely unbearable but even worse is the thought that this could be affecting Boo2. I have gone back to the early days of out and out panic.
It seems that the main risk to the baby occurs if the baby goes to term - one of the treatment protocols for this cohlestasis is to deliver the baby before 38 weeks so it looks like the Ceasar date will be brought forward.
I feel absolutely paralysed by fear at the moment and the thought that I still need to wait until Thursday to see the doctor again (my OB is away at the moment so I am seeing the fill in Doc who I like very much but I need my OB, I trust him and his judgement implicitly). Every day is an eternity right now and whilst I can feel Boo2 kicking, I feel good - if he goes to sleep for too long and I haven't felt him kicking for awhile, I start to panic. Thankfully I still have the heart rate doppler and check that he is okay.
My biggest fear at the moment is that the baby may be better off out of my body rather than in - the odds of seeing him happy and healthy seem to be diminishing before my eyes. I don't want to let him down, I want him to keep cooking away in safety but I am in doubt that I am providing that safe environment for him any more. I don't want to fail him, JBB and JourneyMan.
One day at a time, I guess. I am praying that my little boy will be okay.