I'm worried and I don't want to freak anyone out but I have found a lump in my breast. In fact, it's been there for awhile and I haven't had it checked out because I thought it was a blocked milk duct from the breast feeding. It hasn't gone away though and now I am getting worried. I have booked in to see my GP on Friday which is the soonest that I could go. I am trying not to think about it but I can't seem to forget about it.
On one hand I think 'how could this happen, I have finally found absolute happiness in my life' - I have a lovely, supportive husband who I love, I have the cutest, most special miracle child in the world and a gorgeous fluffy and woolly dog. On the other hand I think 'I have been smacked down hard by life before, what could be different now?'
To be brutally honest with you, there have been times in my past where I thought that I wouldn't be missed if I died. This was when I was drinking and completely ashamed of myself for the horrorible person I was, lying to everyone - trying to stop and not being able to. I hated myself so much that I really didn't think that I had anything to offer anyone. I don't think that anymore. I feel like I have clawed my way back and I know that there are plenty of people who would miss me. I love my life and I desperately want to see my little JBB grow up and into a man and have a family of his own.
I am sorry for being morbid but I need to get these thoughts out of me so that they are not festering around inside. I unfortunately consulted Dr Google about this and unfortunately that scared me more than alleviating any fears.
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I hope it just a benign lump or a cyst. Wishing you good news when you see the doctor.
ReplyDeletePraying for you as you have the lump checked out, that it is nothing. Please update us when you can.
ReplyDeleteHoping it's a benign lump! i have one in my right breast and I had to go get it biopsied and everything - it was scary, but all turned out ok.
ReplyDeleteOh sweetie!!! I'm praying it's benign in every possible way. You don't need any more bumps in the road. Thinking of you and sending lots of love and hopeful vibes!
ReplyDelete*HUG*
ReplyDeleteAbout 7 or 8 years ago I found a lump as well. I noticed a weird dimple I had never had before at the top of my breast. There was definitely a lump there but it didn't move around freely. It felt like it was attached but the skin could move around on top of it (if that makes sense). I had a mammogram and an ultrasound and it turned out to be nothing they could explain but also had none of the signs of cancer. It eventually went away.
I'll be thinking good thoughts for you that it ends up being similar to mine.
Oh sweetie, I hope and pray that it is nothing. I don't understand why sometimes it feels like we have to fight so much, or why it seems that some of us have to fight harder than others.
ReplyDeleteI will be thinking of and praying for you so very much.
*Huge hugs*
I hope everything is okay. There are lots of causes for lumps and I have my fingers crossed this is nothing serious.
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