Life is interesting. I was discussing our situation with my auntie the other night, she is an amazing woman, she’s had a tough life but throughout has been positive and happy which I admire greatly. She has been like a second mum to me and I realised long ago that I am so, so lucky to have so many wonderful, supportive people in my life – I have really lucked in, I am thankful every day for such an amazing support network. Anyway, she reminded me about a time when JourneyMan and I were only around 6 months into our relationship. I knew that I loved him lots and at this time he made a statement (after my asking him for the hundredth time why he had the vasectomy at such a young age – poor thing, I honestly have asked him that question so many times it is just ridiculous) – that he was not fussed whether he would have children or not. This sent me in to a bit of a spin because I had always wanted kids. So at this time, I withdrew from the relationship to make the decision of whether I wanted a relationship in which I would definitely have children, in essence leaving JourneyMan to pursue someone who wanted the same things I did.
After a lot of careful consideration, I realised that my relationship with JourneyMan was more important to me. Basically, I decided that I would rather have the relationship with JourneyMan and the ‘maybe’ of children rather than someone else and the certainty of children. I have never wavered in that decision. Not in any doctor’s appointment where I have received bad news, not after any cancelled or unsuccessful cycle and not during any waiting times when it seemed that the possibility of children drew further and further away. I chose him and thankfully, it is one of the smartest things that I have done in my life. This is because I know that if it happens that after all of the cycles and we have exhausted all avenues that we could pursue for our family, we will have each other (and Journey Dog) and that is just fine. We have fun together, he makes me laugh and isn’t that one of the most important things in life? I am all about contingency plans and if it doesn’t work out for us to have a family, there is so much that we can do in life, travel, make a difference in people’s lives through business and charity and through it all I hope we will always retain what we started off with, our love for each other.
Ironically enough, when we started to pursue IVF it was because of Journey Man’s vasectomy. However, now we know that I am a poor responder with dodgy eggs and a medical experiment for a uterus. So, in essence we were extremely lucky that JourneyMan had had the vasectomy otherwise we would have wasted a year of trying before finding out that we needed to try other methods. My auntie said to me that I was lucky that Journey Man had had the vasectomy because it helped him to be so comforting on the crazy roller coaster of IVF. Whilst I agree, this doesn’t really give Journey Man enough credit. He is has an innate ability to provide comfort and thankfully is the cockeyed optimist of our partnership - there are not many like him out there that's for sure!!
Sometimes the whole craziness of the situation makes me wallow in ‘it’s not fair’ though I don’t like to indulge this too often – I would much rather see how lucky I am and hope that one day I will be able to shower my love on a child of my own. I am the determined part of this couple so I am sure that it will happen!!
After a lot of careful consideration, I realised that my relationship with JourneyMan was more important to me. Basically, I decided that I would rather have the relationship with JourneyMan and the ‘maybe’ of children rather than someone else and the certainty of children. I have never wavered in that decision. Not in any doctor’s appointment where I have received bad news, not after any cancelled or unsuccessful cycle and not during any waiting times when it seemed that the possibility of children drew further and further away. I chose him and thankfully, it is one of the smartest things that I have done in my life. This is because I know that if it happens that after all of the cycles and we have exhausted all avenues that we could pursue for our family, we will have each other (and Journey Dog) and that is just fine. We have fun together, he makes me laugh and isn’t that one of the most important things in life? I am all about contingency plans and if it doesn’t work out for us to have a family, there is so much that we can do in life, travel, make a difference in people’s lives through business and charity and through it all I hope we will always retain what we started off with, our love for each other.
Ironically enough, when we started to pursue IVF it was because of Journey Man’s vasectomy. However, now we know that I am a poor responder with dodgy eggs and a medical experiment for a uterus. So, in essence we were extremely lucky that JourneyMan had had the vasectomy otherwise we would have wasted a year of trying before finding out that we needed to try other methods. My auntie said to me that I was lucky that Journey Man had had the vasectomy because it helped him to be so comforting on the crazy roller coaster of IVF. Whilst I agree, this doesn’t really give Journey Man enough credit. He is has an innate ability to provide comfort and thankfully is the cockeyed optimist of our partnership - there are not many like him out there that's for sure!!
Sometimes the whole craziness of the situation makes me wallow in ‘it’s not fair’ though I don’t like to indulge this too often – I would much rather see how lucky I am and hope that one day I will be able to shower my love on a child of my own. I am the determined part of this couple so I am sure that it will happen!!
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Very inspiring post! :)
ReplyDeleteI am a very firm believer that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes it requires patience on our part before the reason is unveiled. Journeys like ours make us stronger, more compassionate people.
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