What to say......

We went to a wedding on Saturday for one of my girlfriend’s.  It was a lovely day (though it didn’t end well, more on that later) and great to catch up with everyone after the Christmas / New Year period.

I had trouble talking about the pregnancy though, everyone wanted to know how I was feeling and how it was all going.  I wanted to tell them all was fine and good but I felt uncomfortable about it because I don’t feel like everything is fine.  I also didn’t really want to discuss the full truth because a) I didn’t want to face it myself and b) I didn’t want to bum anyone out – especially the couple of friends who are pregnant.

For the most part, I managed to avoid the in depth discussions but unfortunately I couldn’t avoid letting some people know and I feel uncomfortable about it.  I wish I could cheerfully say that all is great but that feels like a lie.

I guess that it is something that most pregnant women take for granted and certainly when all was fine, I would happily say ‘yes, I am feeling fine and all is going well’ but now such a simple question that I think that people feel obligated to ask, has become a minefield that makes me not want to go out and see anyone, I would just rather avoid the question rather than have to stumble over it.  Unfortunately, we have a lot of events coming up – my sister’s hens day and then her wedding being the main ones.

.I think that things are okay right now but I can’t help but be worried still.  I am definitely using the Doppler more, I used to use it about every 3-4 days but now I check every day.  Thankfully Boo2 is moving a lot more so that is very comforting.

We had to leave the wedding early on Saturday night.  I have been having lots of cramps all week and then Saturday everything just became worse.  The wedding was black tie, difficult for a pregnant woman to pull off – I felt like a red mountain in my dress.  The ceremony was at 3:30pm and things started to go pear shaped then as the cramps came on.  I took some paracetamol to see if I could head the cramps off at the pass but unfortunately, no dice.  We got to have a rest in between the ceremony and the reception – we also dropped off JBB to my sister’s place where my Mum was babysitting JBB and my sister’s son.

I wasn’t particularly worried, as I experienced pretty bad cramps throughout the pregnancy with JBB but it was very painful.  I thought that I could just put up with them for the night, I generally did pretty well with that through the pregnancy with JBB.  What I didn’t account for was how much worse they are this time and let me tell you, they were bad.  We had to leave the reception early and let me tell you, the reception was at one of Melbourne’s best restaurants and we had to go before dessert, I am gutted.  I also felt terrible for the friends on our table, who we basically bailed on without a word and also my lovely friend, the bride – I am sure she had a wonderful night though.

When we finally picked up JBB at my sisters, my Mum asked if I was alright and the previous hours of pain got to me and I burst into tears.  We got JBB and finally got home where JourneyMan got a hot water bottle for me and I tried to get the cramps under control to get to sleep.  I did get to sleep and slept well, JourneyMan took care of JBB while I had a sleep in.

This morning I remembered that at this time in the pregnancy with JBB, I had progesterone pessaries to help my small (deformed) uterus to stretch easier.  I called the OB but my normal one was away.  When I told the on call OB what had been happening, she wanted me to go in for a scan to make sure that my cervix was nice and closed and that Boo2 was not distressed.  It was all good on both counts and she has prescribed the pessaries for me so the next 3-4 days should see an improvement.

It has been an exhausting weekend.  Hopefully the pessaries will start to do their job asap and things will get a bit more comfortable.  It was nice today to get to see little Boo2 again though, I never regret an opportunity to ensure he is okay and it was delightful to see his little booiness again!