Sunday, September 2, 2012
My Dad died earlier today. Unfortunately, I am still in Thailand and far away from my precious family at this time. Poor JourneyMan had to break the news to me over a face time call - I was and am devastated.
As many of you know, Dad was sick with melanoma and hydrocephalus but before I left, he was okay. Not fantastic, he wasn't improving or anything but he was okay. When I said goodbye to him 10 days ago, I didn't know it was goodbye forever but I did cry. I cried because he wished me good luck, and kissed me and then put his hands on the sides of my face and said goodbye and good luck again.
Thankfully my Bestie is here with me in Thailand and has been of tower of strength and support. I can never thank her enough for what she has done for me on this trip, she personifies true friendship. She organised and earlier flight home for us in a snap and has basically organised everything for us to be heading out in a few short hours. She is a legend.
I have spoken to my Mum, my brother and my younger sister. My older sister was also away when he died so I haven't spoken to her yet. He died at home, surrounded by love - my Mum, brother, younger sister and my Aunt (Dad's sister) were all there surrounding him, that makes me so happy. My younger sister kissed him goodbye for me, I am so grateful to her for doing that. I told my brother how thankful and proud of him I am - he did so much for Dad in these last months - more than all of us put together. I am not sure when the funeral is going to be but I will at least be home to help organise it and be there with my family. They told me that his last words were to me, that he couldn't hold on any longer. This tears me to pieces.
I cannot contemplate the fact that I will never see him again. Will never have a joke with him, watch a footy game with him or take JBB over to see him, I don't know how any of that it is true, it just can't be.
It is Father's Day in Australia tomorrow - the thought of it hurts me to my bones. How can it be Father's Day and my Dad not be there? Dad, I love you. Thanks for being my Dad.
I can't write any more - it's all to raw, the shock is paralysing me.