Sunday, September 19, 2010
JBB is one month old today!
Wow, what a month it's been - it has been the best month of my life!! Our gorgeous little popsicle is really running our lives and it is absolutely wonderful!!
We had a great day today - we had a family walk this morning. It was great to have time to catch up and chat with JourneyMan, it has been completely hectic and most of the time we are feeding, settling, changing or playing with the little one or else we are sleeping. We then went out for lunch and in the afternoon worked on JBB's baby book. It has been a wonderful and challenging month.
One month ago today, they showed me little JBB - the image of him covered in the amniotic fluid is etched in my mind and will be forever. I can't even explain the feeling that I had at that moment. It was definitley overwhelming relief and joy but there was also a surreal and shocked feeling as well.
I cannot believe that work that it takes to take care of this little bundle. I have had some frustrated moments but at those times I think of the times that I dreamed of being in this position. I definitely think that the IF journey has made me appreciate this wonderful journey more - especially as it can be quite challenging.
Breastfeeding has been a challenge. There has been a number of times when JBB has been screaming because I haven't got enough milk so I have to give him formula. At those times, I can't help but feel like a bit of a failure even though I said to myself that if I couldn't breastfeed, I wouldn't beat myself up. I just want to give JBB the best in life. I am going to keep trying to breastfeed as much as possible and try to get more of a supply going so that he will not go hungry.
I have another maternal health nurse appointment tomorrow. I can definitely see that he has grown and put on weight over the past 2 weeks so I think it will be good tomorrow.