We visited the Melbourne fertility specialist yesterday and he is fine with our decision which was a huge relief. I had to admit, I was worried that he would strenuously object to the plan but he was very interested and even asked me to bring back literature so he could have a recommendation for other patients if they ask. We have honestly been blessed with our fertility specialist, I have heard many stories out there of specialists not being great. Our FS has always been open to looking at different ways of doing things, he is very pragmatic and is no BS in his explanations, which I really like. He is writing up a history to send to the Thai Fertility Specialist, which is great and has once again confirmed to me that though I have the unicornuate uterus, it is basically a normal size so I should be able to carry a baby – yay!
For the first time since my cancelled cycle, I have felt hope stirring within me again. I am generally a positive and hopeful person but the cycles have knocked me around a bit. It is nice to feel that bit closer to holding a baby in my arms – it is such a beautiful dream. Speaking of the cycles, we were talking previously about the journey to where we are right now.
After the first appointment with the specialist, we decided that we would go straight on to IVF rather than the vasectomy reversal, the main part of the decision was that we didn’t want to wait which we would have done after the reversal. We were in a very big hurry back then. I had to have all the usual tests first. Blood tests and then an ultrasound and then we were back at the fertility specialist again. I found out at that appointment that I had only one kidney. This was a bit of a shock because I would have thought that I would have had some knowledge of only one kidney before 35 years had passed!
The kidney issue meant more tests before we started the first cycle. After everything had been cleared and we had attended the info night, counselling (I would hardly call it counselling) and paid the exorbitant fees (though let me say that for the moment, IVF funding is pretty good in Australia – though in the last federal budget, it was revealed that much of the funding is being taken away). I started on the classic IVF long protocol minus the birth control pill because of my Factor IV Leiden. I was bursting full of hope and absolutely sure that I was going to get pregnant on the first go, after all – apart from the one kidney, I had no issues except that I was 35 right? Hmmm, well so we thought.
After the first ultrasound I received a call letting me know that the cycle was cancelled. I was absolutely shocked, I just couldn’t believe that it could even happen. I went home after work and cried for about an hour – sadly this was not the last cycle that ended in tears. Thank goodness that I had found a wonderful forum to express my shock, they were so supportive and wonderful – honestly, I would hate to think what would have happened if I didn’t have that outlet.
The disappointment doesn’t reduce even after 5 cycles, the shock does but the disappointment, no that sucker hangs around – unfortunately it is by product of hope and truly, I wouldn’t want to lose that. As I alluded to at the start of this post, the last cycle has only been over for around 10 days, cancelled as well (what do you know, 5 cycles with cancellations at the beginning and end – how zen) so the disappointment is still very fresh. I try not to wallow too much but sometimes, it gets the better of me. It is nice to have a new plan though. Still another hurdle to get over, I have to see the haematologist to make sure I can take the necessary drugs whilst flying. I was not able to get an appointment until 3 September – hopefully they will have a cancellation. I have also started training for a 10km run – I am using running as a stress release!
Till next time!
Journey Girl
For the first time since my cancelled cycle, I have felt hope stirring within me again. I am generally a positive and hopeful person but the cycles have knocked me around a bit. It is nice to feel that bit closer to holding a baby in my arms – it is such a beautiful dream. Speaking of the cycles, we were talking previously about the journey to where we are right now.
After the first appointment with the specialist, we decided that we would go straight on to IVF rather than the vasectomy reversal, the main part of the decision was that we didn’t want to wait which we would have done after the reversal. We were in a very big hurry back then. I had to have all the usual tests first. Blood tests and then an ultrasound and then we were back at the fertility specialist again. I found out at that appointment that I had only one kidney. This was a bit of a shock because I would have thought that I would have had some knowledge of only one kidney before 35 years had passed!
The kidney issue meant more tests before we started the first cycle. After everything had been cleared and we had attended the info night, counselling (I would hardly call it counselling) and paid the exorbitant fees (though let me say that for the moment, IVF funding is pretty good in Australia – though in the last federal budget, it was revealed that much of the funding is being taken away). I started on the classic IVF long protocol minus the birth control pill because of my Factor IV Leiden. I was bursting full of hope and absolutely sure that I was going to get pregnant on the first go, after all – apart from the one kidney, I had no issues except that I was 35 right? Hmmm, well so we thought.
After the first ultrasound I received a call letting me know that the cycle was cancelled. I was absolutely shocked, I just couldn’t believe that it could even happen. I went home after work and cried for about an hour – sadly this was not the last cycle that ended in tears. Thank goodness that I had found a wonderful forum to express my shock, they were so supportive and wonderful – honestly, I would hate to think what would have happened if I didn’t have that outlet.
The disappointment doesn’t reduce even after 5 cycles, the shock does but the disappointment, no that sucker hangs around – unfortunately it is by product of hope and truly, I wouldn’t want to lose that. As I alluded to at the start of this post, the last cycle has only been over for around 10 days, cancelled as well (what do you know, 5 cycles with cancellations at the beginning and end – how zen) so the disappointment is still very fresh. I try not to wallow too much but sometimes, it gets the better of me. It is nice to have a new plan though. Still another hurdle to get over, I have to see the haematologist to make sure I can take the necessary drugs whilst flying. I was not able to get an appointment until 3 September – hopefully they will have a cancellation. I have also started training for a 10km run – I am using running as a stress release!
Till next time!
Journey Girl
Posts
Wow. When it rains it pours huh? Who would have thought you just had one kidney?! You have a very interesting JOURNEY (hee hee)! Glad to see you have a blog and are able to connect to more people. I have loved my blog-it gets me through a lot of stuff!!!
ReplyDeleteHere from Mel's LFCA
Here by way of LFCA...
ReplyDeleteThat's good hurdle two went well - I'm hoping the rest will go well too!
I'm also here via LFCA. I used donor eggs last year in April and had a successful cycle. I'm always on the lookout for other DE moms/moms-to-be so I'm happy to see you started a blog about your journey!
ReplyDeleteWelcome to the land of blogs! I'm here from Lost & Found, as well, and want to wish you luck in your endeavors. I can't wait to get to know you better.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I've read through your posts so far and was wondering, are you considered to have diminishes ovarian reserve? Just wondering why you've been cancelled so many times?
ReplyDeleteI was cancelled three different times due to poor response. I was being over stimulated by the Lupron. I changed doctors, and we added a few new meds, didn't do Lupron at all, and I finally was able to complete an entire IVF cycle. While it ended in a BFN, we did get some response.
Welcome!
ReplyDelete