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Thursday, March 14, 2013

The last time....

As this pregnancy draws to a close, it is becoming more and more apparent to me that this is the last time.  We know that we will not be doing any more cycles and not having any more children.  There is some part of me that is really, really sad about this fact but another part of me that is very relieved.  Relieved that the anguish of cycles are over and 

It's taken me a long time to admit but the only thing that I like about being pregnant is the feeling of connection to the child, feeling them move and kick inside me, knowing that I am already nurturing them.  For the rest of it (and this is a VERY hard thing for an infertile to admit), I find being pregnant very, very hard.  The fear, being uncomfortable most of the time, the physical cost that it takes, the recovery from the birth.  The one thing that I know at the end of this pregancy, it's absolutely worth it when I am holding the precious baby in my arms.

So, knowing that this is the last time that I will be pregnant, we have booked in to have some pregnancy and newborn shots done.  We didn't do this with JBB, I am not exactly sure why but I do suspect that it was to do with 'tempting fate' or just the fact that we had so much going on in the lead up to JBB being born - ie. renovating renovating our house.  I am really happy that we are doing it but am also really aprehensive.  I have never really been huge friends with my body and being in photo's when I am feeling pretty bad about my body is a bit daunting.  I know it will be really great for JBB and Boo2 to look at one day and I guess even I will look back and want to remember.

JBB has taken to talking about Boo2 more and more.  He has told us that he will share his toys (I hope so) with him and that there is a chair for Boo2 at his little table.  I talk to him quite a bit about what will happen when Boo2 comes along.  I want him to be as prepared as possible though I know that it is is going to be quite a shock for him too.

In weather news, it has finally broken.  It was lovely and cool last night and we all got a good night's sleep, thank goodness!!  It is still going to be warm during the days but some cool nights will really help matters!!

Exciting times ahead, only 2 more weeks of work to go - yay!!

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