JourneyMan has a job that means he doesn’t get home until
after the kids have had their dinner, bath and are tucked up in bed. So, he gets up in the morning and does the
morning routine and spends time with them then.
I find doing all of the night time routine on my own taxing
sometimes. Not so much physically but
more so because I have the same conversations over and over again. JBB, eat your dinner (and repeat 5-7 times),
Boo2 sit down in the high chair (and repeat 5-7 times), JBB hop out of the
bath, please (and repeat 5-7 times), Boo2, don’t take your nappy off (and
repeat 5-7 times), JBB, put on your pj’s (and repeat 5-7 times).
I was with some girlfriends last week and we were discussing
our routines. One of them does the
morning getting the kids ready and they employ a nanny in the afternoons a
couple of times a week to pick the kids up from school / daycare, play with
them, give them their dinner and get them ready for bed. Another friend (who is an entrepreneur and
has started up her own very successful business since her kids were born) was
intrigued and thought that she could that most nights a week. The group of girlfriends are all very
successful women. Most have careers,
beautiful children, loving husbands and beautiful houses. Every one of them has their own struggles
though – whether big or small, they all struggle.
I was genuinely intrigued by the thought of having some help
to get the kids ready for bed but then I thought of some other things. Like when I taught JBB how to peel carrots
(previous to this, he didn’t like to eat them) and he said to me at the dinner
table ‘Thank you for teaching me to peeling the carrots, Mum, I really like it’.
Or the time when I bought a new bathmat and the excitement that it brought to
the bath time routine was crazy. Boo2
felt it with his feet and started flashdancing on it like no tomorrow, laughing
delightedly (while nude of course). JBB
immediately started running every part of his body over the bathmat and saying ‘I
love it, Mum’. For days afterwards,
every person that came through the house was treated to being told about our
new bath mat and how great it is (the best $10 ever spent!!). I also thought about the time, I accidentally
put Boo2 in the bath with his socks on – JBB laughed till he cried and Boo2
started to scream and clap because of all the laughing - the memory of their happy
faces still brings a smile to my face.
Or when we read a book that ends with ‘I love you Mum’ and JBB puts his
arms around me and says ‘I love YOU Mum’.
Or even last night when I was reading JBB his bedtime story, I dropped
the book on to my face and he laughed and laughed (and then had to tell
JourneyMan about it with the first opportunity that he had).
I don’t judge or begrudge any woman who is trying to make
her life easier through getting help. I
have stacks of help and still struggle to take care of the kids, work, keep a
nice house, cook nutritious meals, stay to a budget, exercise, eat right and do
all of the millions of things that a woman is expected to do these days. Life can be super exhausting and there is so
much going on all the time that sometimes the drudgery of the night time
routine seems to be something I would like to escape from. Then we get a new bath mat and I remember the
mantra that I loved in my IF days – ‘take the happiness where you can get it’. And I wonder, what if I missed those
laughing, touching moments? There are
plenty of moments when you are a parent that can be tough and even mind numbingly
repetitive but to take away those, I might also also take away those times when
you get a new bath mat and all hell breaks loose.
