I am going to a baby shower in a few weeks and apart from the
fact that I am not telling any of my friends (except my bestie who is coming –
yayers!) about the cycle in Thailand
in August, I don’t mind baby showers now. They used to hold so many emotions for me,
jealousy, hope, wishful thinking, hurt, self pity but now they are a genuine
chance to be happy for my friends who are having babies. I am lucky enough to
have had my baby shower and I am happy not to have another one (though I still
want another baby of course!!).
The friend whose shower it is for is 43 and is pregnant with
her boyfriend of a year. There is no
judgement there, I more than anyone else know how loud the biological clock can
tick and definitely would have preferred a baby over a wedding any day of the
week. She also has a long history of bad
luck with boyfriends and had basically given up any chance of a baby of her own
a while ago, so I am very happy indeed at her change in circumstances.
I saw her awhile ago and was really excited to talk to her
about the baby. I was pretty much shut
down though (she was about 20 weeks at the time) when she really brushed aside
my congratulations. In my mind, I
thought ‘weird’ but tried again. ‘So how
are you feeling, it must be all very exciting?’
Her answer to this was ‘not really, it is all pretty boring’. She also told me that she didn’t see the point
in stopping work early (I wanted to let her know to enjoy those halcyon days
when you finish work and the baby hasn’t come yet because there is not much
sleep for a while after that) and said that she is working up until the week
the baby is due. Ooooookay, no worries,
everyone is different and have there own choices to make, right?
Generally, I consider myself a pretty inclusive person – I really
don’t mind what anyone does (as long as they are not hurting anyone else of
course) but this burned me and I have been thinking about it for weeks. Let me recap – she got pregnant at 43 without
any trouble that is surely worth a bit of excitement and gratitude!!! I have felt really affronted by her lack of
excitement, or even any real interest. I
know that this is really about me and my journey and probably the fact that I
worked so hard for my pregnancy but didn’t really enjoy it because I was so
worried, so I know that it’s not her fault, it’s mine. I didn’t know that something like this would bother
me so much but I wanted to shake the pregnant woman and tell her to be excited,
dammit. Not really good behaviour for
polite company!!
I hope that there is a little more excitement at the baby
shower, either way, I promise there will be no shaking of the pregnant lady.
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