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Friday, July 31, 2009

Introducing JourneyMan...

I had never put an expectation on when I might get married, but I knew that when it came to having kids I wanted to make sure I had a roof of my own to shelter them. Being the eldest of 4, brought up in modest means I did know that 2 kids would be the most I was willing to entertain at least until I had the means to reconsider.

I felt pretty comfortable during much of my singledom, however, there was a few pangs here and there, that my life wasnt completely fulfilled and I was glad when Journey Girl came along. I've got some friends that have kids and so I never felt a need to have kids myself. I enjoy being around kids although there's plenty of upside I can see to being able to leave children with their parents when there's been too much lollies or if
they're getting too tired.

My vasectomy was a choice that I made after some sad experiences earlier in life. An ex-girlfriend and I had 2 abortions when I was 18 and 19. I tried to prevent this coming about at the time however due to circumstances we didn't go ahead with those pregnancies. After a third abortion when I was 25, I wanted to take more responsibility for birth control than I had previously. So having a vasectomy was the best solution I came up with. I felt really weird at the time, as I never thought of myself as being 'sterile' however, I reasoned that I could have it reversed it later in life when I had my own house and I could provide for the child properly. I didn't want to be trying to pay rent and support a child and have all the other expenses until I knew they were coming.

Given the trouble the vasectomy has caused with fertility I've cursed having made that choice in the past. Initially I felt really bad about going through IVF. I felt there was a personal stigma attached to going through IVF, I had seen myself as someone who wouldn't need an assisted reproduction and it took time to be able to deal with being part of the IVF program. It did and does make me happy to start a family with Journey Girl because I can see how much fun it will be. When we met with our fertility specialist I was confident we would expediently find a solition as time has gone on it has been more difficult to be confronted with ongoing failed attempted.

I don't mind the donor egg issue as we had originally discussed it in terms of a friend offering the donor egg. So I have had time to think about it and since we've been to Thailand a few times I was open to the idea. I am really excited to see how an egg donor can help us with a child as I am hoping that it will give us a boost in our potential for a positive result. I feel much better about an egg donor than the prospect of trying the drug to reverse the effect of the sperm antibodies that were created as a result of the vasectomy, since being told one of the downsides could be hip problems! Talk about extreme side-effects.

I am hoping I can help bring up fun and disciplined children. Parties at those indoor play centres are bound to be fun also. I think I've been subconciously making a list of 'the way I'll do it' in terms of what I've seen about parenting and have/have not liked. I'm sure it's not as easy as it looks though.


1 comment:

  1. Very interesting to hear from a guys perspective!! Thank you for writing it down- gems like you are hard to find out here in the blogosphere. My husband has anejactulation (nothing comes out), and he had a really hard time when it came time for us to have family. He is better now, but it sounds like you are a great support system for JourneyGirl!! Good luck!!