Happy New Year!!

Happy New Year everyone - I hope that you had a wonderful New Year's Eve and rang in the New Year in a fun way! Happy 2010 everyone!

I like the fact of a brand new year starting as I think it is nice to wipe the slate clean and start everything anew! However, I don't like to go out on New Year's - in fact, I am not a hugely sociable person at the best of times - my favourite meal to eat out is breakfast!! JourneyMan and I had a very quiet night in watching an Entourage marathon (they party enough for us all!) and I was in bed by 10pm! The most exciting part of our night was when the hot weather broke and the storm hit - lots of thunder, lightening and crazy wind and rain! Since I gave up alcohol one of the things that I have loved is starting the year feeling great and this year was no exception, though it did take me a couple of hours before JourneyMan and I remembered it was a New Year and had a bit of a kiss!

I am absolutely relieved that the weather has broken, gosh it has been hot here for the days before New Year's Eve - nearly 37 degrees celcius yesterday (almost 100 F) so the house has been getting warmer and warmer. It was so hot that for the first time in my life I slept in the lounge room with the airconditioner on all night on Wednesday night. Thankfully today has been quite a bit cooler though the house hasn't completely cooled down yet. I generally have quite a low temperature so the hot weather does not usually bother me - in fact I love it. Though I am finding that I am feeling the heat quite a bit more because of the raise in my temperature. We managed to cool down the house enough last night though so I was able to sleep in the bedroom - yay! I am glad that JourneyMan brought me quite a few summer frocks in Thailand for me for Christmas, they are very comfortable and very cool!

It really is a brand new year with a clean slate - this is the year that we will meet our JourneyBaby - I can't get the smile off my face! So what else is to be done in this brand spanking new year? To be honest, I haven't even done my goals for the year yet!! I have been too busy smiling to myself and sleeping - I will have to have a brainstorm over the next few days.

Here is a list (yes, people, of course a list was not going to be far off!!) of the symptoms that I am feeling at the moment (this list will be saved to tell my long suffering fertility specialist, he really hates my lists - he likes to look at the list upside down and quickly address any questions!):

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  Tiredness - when on holidays, I used to stay up past midnight most nights, now I can barely make it to 10pm and that is after a Nanna nap in the arvo (that is afternoon for any non-Aussies!)


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  Cramps - still feeling very crampy off and on


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  Bloated - my stomach looks like I am already 5 months pregnant


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  Sleeping - I am sleeping a lot heavier these days - I don't even wake up when JourneyMan comes to bed!


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  Dizzy - I am getting alot of dizzy spells when I stand up from sitting down and then sometimes even when I am sitting down


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  Morning sickness - I feel a bit sick if I get too hungry, no big deal, I just eat something and feel better though I am a bit freaked about how much weight I will put on over the next 8 months! I actually didn't know it was morning sickness until I was talking to my older sister (she of the 'My 3 Sons) and she asked how I was feeling and I said that I felt a bit crappy that day, like I had a hangover, then she told me it was morning sickness - der Fred, can I be anymore clueless!!

All in all, I am feeling pretty good, none of the symptoms are stopping me from doing anything and I am very much trying to rest and take care of myself as much as possible. That being said, after a week of pretty healthy meals, we had Macca's for tea tonight - whoops!

At the request of my good friend and blogging yoda, Lifeslurper - here is a pic of the fabulous Phantay - the elephant protagonist of the previous blogpost:

Chelle - I haven't forgotten your request to post a photo of our new dining table - it's just that, we only actually got it on Christmas day (my Mum is a big stickler for giving Christmas presents only on Christmas day, bless her!) and I haven't put it together yet - yes, we have to put it together - it is from Ikea! Yes, I have to do it because JourneyMan has a strict 'I don't put furniture together' policy whereas I don't mind it, I kind of find it soothing and quite rewarding!

Goodness, it is nearly my bedtime - Happy New Year all - I hope all of your dreams come true this year!

It's Official!!

I got the call from my GP today and the results are in - I am most definitely pregnant and the HCG level of 1,185 - holy moly, I had roughly calculated that it would be around 320 for 13 days post transfer so I was blown away with the results - goes to show you that I really should bother to calculate! So, JourneyMan and I are absolutely thrilled!! All of my other blood results were all good so I am very, very happy - whoo hooo!!

Some news that I had not shared with you as yet is that we didn't get any embryo's in the freezer, something that we are pretty used to as we have never had anything for the freezer - a little bit disappointing but you know, everyone is right, all you need is one!! I am so happy at the moment, I couldn't care! I also wanted to share something else with you. Quite often during the IF journey I had thought 'it's not fair' and was quite resentful of people who seemingly fell pregnant at the drop of a hat (ie on their honeymoon!) but when we were in Hua Hin in Thailand, I thought to myself - this is really not a bad way to conceive a baby! As I thought this, I felt I released a whole lot of resentment and negative feelings. Thailand is such a beautiful, peaceful place - it is hard not to have enjoyed our trip!

So, our next steps are to book in to have a scan, which I think will be around the 13th Jan though I haven't been able to book as yet because they are not back open after the Christmas break until the 4th. My fertility specialist is also not back until the 18th of Jan and the earliest that I can call for an appointment is on the 14th so hopefully I will get in to see him then, I am hoping he will refer me to an OB who has had experience with uterine abnormalities! Now it is all about sitting tight, relaxing and taking care of myself!

Oh yes, I need to tell you about Phantay - now, I realise that when I was away I had posted to Lifeslurper that Teddy and Big Blue Dog have a new buddy called Phantay and that I would tell the story of how we came to find him. When we were in Bangkok, I said to Journeyman that we should buy the baby a stuffed elephant as a pressie from us but then once I had the transfer I was not able to shop so we didn't end up getting it. Would you believe when we walked in to our hotel room in Hua Hin, there was a grey stuffed elephant sitting on the bed that we could buy and the money would go to help feed, clothe and house poor Thai children. Well, as you can imagine we bought that gorgeous elephant as quick as you could say Phantay (which is what we have christened him!).

I am still pretty tired in the afternoons and am having a Nanna nap - it is going to be tough when I go back to work on Monday though lucky I usually can work from home most afternoons and even whole days some days.

The next steps...

I had a lovely day of rest today - just caught up on some DVD's and hung out with JourneyDog, we had a nap in the afternoon - I have been very tired indeed though I think that is mostly due to catching up from the trip home and Christmas. JourneyMan went to visit his best mate for a catch up so JourneyDog and I had fun just hanging out together - it is pretty hot back here in Melbourne so the airconditioner has been working overtime.

In the past 2 days, I have bought (I kid you not!) 5 pregnancy books - and I have pretty much read most of them - I have read the relevant material for this period around 4 times!! I am very excited but of course there are worries that are underneath the surface. Don't get me wrong - I am over the moon and am very positive about the pregnancy but there is of course fear and quite a bit of impatience. I think that this pregnancy is going to teach me some patience, after all, I can't force anything at the moment, I just have to sit back and let it happen.

I have to answer poor Lifeslurper who is in a bit of a frenzy about the blood test (sorry for the vague updates, my friend, I have not been 100% sure of what to do myself - I feel a little in unknown territory - an IVFer without a clinic!!). I am hoping to get an appointment with my GP tomorrow but it is the first day that they are open since Christmas so I may not get in to see my doctor. I am kind of in no-woman's land at the moment because my fertility specialist is not back until 18 January so at the moment I am concentrating on relaxing and making the most of my last week before I start back at work - boooooo!

Symptoms wise, I am still feeling quite lightheaded and tired as I mentioned before. I am getting random off and on pains and my back is pretty sore but other than that, I am feeling very good!

Hopefully some more good news tomorrow!

Dreams coming true!

Well, I took another pregnancy test this morning and the line has gotten darker - whoo hoo, I am SO happy. The funny thing is that I was expecting to feel a little disbelief, that it would take some time for the news to sink in but I wasn't surprised to see that line there - it was more like that I was expecting it. I think it points to an incident when we were still in Thailand. It was in Hua Hin and my back was sore because the bed wasn't as good as the bed in Bangkok but I was a little worried about having a Thai massage because they are quite rigorous (a cross between a massage and a yoga class quite frankly). After awhile, I decided that I would go ahead with the massage but tell them that I am pregnant so they wouldn't go too hard on me. That time felt like the transition to me, when I told them I was pregant, I believed it so I think that is the reason that I wasn't surprised when I got the positive result yesterday.

We went over to my Mum and Dad's place early yesterday morning for pressie corner (I am still very much a child at heart) and I told my Mum straight away and she was so happy, she cried! Later, my Mum told me that Dad had said to her - 'I am so happy that JourneyGirl is pregnant, I said prayers for her and it worked'. I nearly cried myself at that because that was so much more like my old Dad - it was just fantastic. We had a great day yesterday with lunch at my Aunties place (she also cried as did my older sister) and then we went to JourneyMan's Nanna's house to have dinner with all of his family. There was a lot of eating, lots of presents and so much joy - it was a beautiful day!

Unfortunately my brother and his wife and kids were not at our celebrations, he has been in alcohol rehab for the last month and will remain in there for a couple of months more. We are absolutely happy that he is finally getting some help so whilst we missed them all, I would much rather that he spent the time taking care of himself and getting well but I did miss them.

We had dinner at JourneyMan's Nanna's house and we told his Mum that I am pregnant, she was so happy - gosh, it was such a wonderful day yesterday. I have found that I have had to tell quite a few people about the pregnancy despite it being so early because they knew what we were going to Thailand for so we couldn't really keep it a secret. I feel slightly uncomfortable about telling people so early, however I am going to work on the assumption that everything is going to turn out fine so it won't be an issue! We didn't get home until around 9:30pm and because I only had a couple of hours of sleep on the plane and then was in bed late on Christmas eve and up at the crack of dawn to check the test so I was tired, tired, tired!

I had a pretty good sleep last night though my back is still quite sore. It was so lovely to get up and sit on the couch with JourneyDog, gosh I missed his woolliness - we went to see him straight away without going home or unpacking or anything. He is going to have to have a bath tomorrow, he is a bit on the nose, that's for sure! I went to the movies with my bestie today and we had a good catch up chat which was brilliant. I had to have a snooze when I got home this arvo as I was really tired still. In terms of symptons, I have felt fairly lightheaded all day and a bit hungrier than usual though I don't know if it is my imagination (the hunger, I mean - the lightheadedness is definitely real!).

I realised last night that I knew absolutely nothing about pregnancy so I have bought myself a book today and am reading up on what's going on. I am going to book in to see the GP next week and give my fertility specialist a call though I think he is France (or Denmark) for all of January. I will have to book in to see the haematologist as well. I want to make sure that I find an OB who has had experience in uterine abnormalities - so much to do - gosh, I might have to write a list!

On another note, I wanted to give you all huge heartfelt thanks for all of your positive thoughts, support and comments - it has been SO helpful to JourneyMan and I believe that you all had a hand in this positive result because of your thoughts and wishes - THANK YOU!!

The best gift of all!!!

Merry Christmas everyone!! JourneyMan and I are over the moon, I got a positive pregnancy test this morning on a HPT. The line was faint but it was definitely there - I can't get the grin off my face!!

Well, I have to go get ready for our Christmas lunch at my Aunties place - I just wanted to briefly stop by to let you know the good news.

I am SO happy - it is amazing!!

Last night in Thailand tonight!

And I have to say that I am looking forward to going home. Generally at this point on a trip I am devastated to be going home but I am really looking forward to going home this time. I have missed Journey Dog immensly and can't wait to hug on his wooliness but I am also hoping for that positive result. AF has stayed away and the cramps have eased off in the last day though there was an interesting incident to report last night.

I woke up at 3am cos I was hot (and JourneyMan was jumping about in his sleep) and I had trouble getting back to sleep so I read for a while. I turned over in bed and got a really bad dizzy spin (only comparable to in the past drinking too much though this was a lot faster than that) - I felt awful. I grabbed on to JourneyMan - whose response was 'you're not going to fall anywhere' - yes, very helpful, sweetie! He went back to sleep and I read for about another hour and during that time I had around another 4 spells. I think it is good news and further good news - AF still away - yeah!!

So tomorrow we will check out by 12pm but hang around the resort (no doubt by the pool) until 5:30pm when we take the 3 hour car drive (we have a driver!) back to Bangkok. Our flight leaves at 12:15am in the morning and we get back to Melbourne at 1:30pm on Christmas Eve. My sister is picking us up at the airport in Melbourne and taking us straight to see my Mum, Dad and JourneyDog!

Good news, I have pretty much finished the Christmas shopping, just have to pick up a couple of things at the airport duty free and I am home and hosed, whoo hoo!!

The countdown is on people - the test is on the 26th December (or Boxing Day as we say in Australia) - only 4 more sleeps!!

All clear so far!

Okay gang, the great news is that I have survived the day without the AF so I am feeling a bit better. This has been a big thing for me as AF normally is right on the money or early - very, very rarely is she ever late. So, it has been an excellent day. Thank you for all of your comments of support, I really appreciate it! LS - you're right and I am back being positive - a momentary lapse (Teddy & Big Blue Dog have made a new friend - Phantay - see below for story). TIO - yes, absolutely - I feel blessed to have JourneyMan, JourneyDog (I am missing his wooliness like crazy), my fab family and all of you wonderful people out in the blogosphere - I feel very supported!

I have just thought tonight that I had not documented the drug regime that I am on right now - honestly, it has to be seen to be believed! Here goes:

Morning:

Progynova (Oral Oestrogen)

Crinone (Vaginal Progesterone)

Chinese herbs

Duphaston (Oral Progesterone)

Lunch:

Progynova (Oral Oestrogen)

Evening:

Progynova (Oral Oestrogen)
Chinese herbs
Duphaston (Oral Progesterone)

Clexane (blood thinner injection)

Multi Vitamin

Co-enzyme Q10

Calcium

Folic Acid

As you can see, it is a pretty thorough regime. I have alarms on my phone to ensure that I take everything!

In other news, today was a day of swimming - the pool here is amazing, reading (I am finished the Twilight series and am on to a Grisham) and JourneyMan and I are watching the 4th season of Weeds. Tomorrow we are going in to town so I can finally get my Christmas shopping finished!

Beach, Pool, Waiting...

Okay, just a quick post to let you know that I am still here, waiting, waiting, waiting. Though I have to tell you that there are worst places to wait than this - lovely weather, palm trees, gorgeous pool, seaview from room - we are loving ourselves sick here!!

Not much to tell at the moment because I am in a little bit of a worried hole. AF is due tomorrow and I have noticed some distinctly PMS signs - bloated stomach, snappy mood, craving for chocolate. I am in a bit of a worried place at the moment because both cycles when I had transfers were over very quickly when AF came along and ruined the party.

I am trying to relax as much as possible and hope against hope that this is our time but I can't help but have some self doubt. I hope, I hope, I hope.

Movies, Reading, Waiting...

Okay gang - I have wrested back control of the blog from JourneyMan though I am sure that you will agree that he did a fab job while I was being lazy in the hotel room! Well, today has been alot of nothing basically. I didn't sleep very well last night - I went to sleep after midnight (after watching Twilight) and woke up at 6am and couldn't get back to sleep. Of course I am in the constant body scan mode, thinking that every pain is implantation and every symptom could mean the little dot has grabbed on with all their might!

I am feeling very positive and happy. I was initially disappointed by the results that we got but I am also very happy to have been able to have an excellent grade blastocyst transferred back for the very first time - yay! I don't know if I am imagining things or not but I feel a little bit different this time. After the previous transfers that I have had, I felt very early on that they were not going to work but at the moment, every action that I take and every thought that I have is that I am already pregnant.

So, what has been happening today. Well, after my restless sleep we had our breakfast at a lazy 9pm and then did a bit of reading before heading over to see Avatar. It wouldn't have been my pick of movies to see but there was very little else that we hadn't seen and it turned out to be pretty good. We had a nice lunch and then headed back to the room for some more reading (I have now finished Eclipse and am just about to start on Breaking Dawn) and a bit of a disco nap for JourneyMan (he never has any trouble sleeping, ever!). Then we went and saw New Moon and that brings me to where I am now - updating you guys. Can you believe how relaxing our schedule is!?!? My goodness, if we got any more relaxed, we would barely be living!! Though I have to say - it was nice to have a day without appointments, tours or treatments - today was just a whole load of nothing and sometimes that's nice! I liked New Moon a lot better than Twilight which I thought was a bit sucky (pun intended) really though I am firmly in the Jacob camp so that's probably why!

This is our last night in Bangkok and I am really looking forward to heading to Hua Hin tomorrow - I love the beach and it will nice to go swimming (not on the banned list - yeah!!) and even have some different scenery! Honestly, JourneyMan and I were talking yesterday and we feel like we have been here for a month - I guess because so much has happened but also that we haven't done much of anything - if that makes any sense!?!? Gosh, I am rambling now - someone tell me to shut up!

I want to thank you all for your wonderful comments of support, it it a wonderful, wonderful feeling to know that you guys are out there sending your positive thoughts our way, I really appreciate it and certainly some of your comments have been so moving that I have had a tear or two - thanks to all of you. I have not had a chance to catch up on my reading as yet but I promise I will - I am excited to see what everyone has been up to!!

Well that is all from Bangkok at present. Hopefully I will be able to update you all in Hua Hin but surprisingly enough, I don't know where the internet cafes are or really where anything is - I have purposely left it research free so that we could do a bit of exploring now that we don't have appointments to keep. It should be a lovely relaxing 5 nights and then home for Christmas eve - eeeek, still have not finished my Christmas shopping - will hopefully be able to find some lovely presents in Hua Hin.

The Embyo Transfer

Hello once again to all, JourneyMan backing up on blog duty agian tonight.

I am elated to let you all know, that the embryo transfer went well today! JG is resting in our room and has been since 5pm local time.We were picked up today at 1130am and arrived early to the clinic. After some wonderful Thai cuisine for lunch, we saw the doctor for the transfer procedure at 1pm. There was another couple that transferred at the same time. The ward was small and intimate, as it is new it is also sparkling clean and professionally run! We were dropped off after the other couple to our hotel and as it was Bankok traffice it took 1.5 holurs to get home including the drop off of the other couple. We were well looked after as we were driven in a Mercedes Vito van decked out in plush seating and good air conditioning! One of the best ways to travel in Bangkok.

Over to the progress of the organisims. Of the 8, we had one excellent blastocyst embryo (this is the one we transferred). 2 were rated as fair at the blastocyst stage. A little sadly the great ratings that we were initially given on day 3, did not all continue in that vein by the 5th day, however, I keep reminding JG that we have the holy grail so far, let's be pleased with one that we can hopefully turn into a bub! I am looking forward to the hours of comedy JourneyBaby & JourneyDog will provide!
I am wrapped that we have implanted a well developed embryo today, we may well have begun our family! JG is a little saddened that we did not get as many to the excellent stage by day 5, but I hope she is slowly coming around to the idea that as long as this one grows we can come back again. It might be nice to have more ready to freeze right now, but its not the main thing.
JG seems to see it my way, however, as she likes to overachieve Im sure it will dog her mind a little, until at least we have a positive pregnancy on its way.

The nurse reeled off a massive list of do's and dont's. Which include: no shopping (Gaah!), no fast walking or general tensing of the core area. Showers are required and definitely bed rest for the rest of the day. i.e No hot baths or exercise.
After the initial transfer was done JG was told she had to remain laying for at leat 15 minutes, but an hour is preferred. After about 45 mins the nurse came to say it was time to go. JG has happily retired to the room to await the Twillight movie that will be on free to air tonight and is hoping to see the New Moon film tomorrow at the cinema.
JG is feeling very happy & positive, she wants to pass on.
During the procedure, JG was given a pic of the embryo's from the doctor to hold and she was able to watch them remove the embryo from the petrie dish before the nurse handed it to the Doctor to be placed in its new home. Also on hand were her grandnana's rosary beads, some lucky stones and the blessed Saint medal from my momma! We were also sensing the positive vibes all of you are sending, many thanks for your positive thoughts.

JM is preparing for the next step, adieu for this eve.

Until Tomorrow...

Hello to the Journey Gang this is JourneyMan.

I have been given blog update duty as JG is recovering from a rather arduous day out in the Thai countryside today. We were picked up by our tour operator at 7am, took a 130km bus ride (one way) to Kanchanaburi and took in the sights of rafting on the River Kwai, paid respects at the allied war cemetary and whilst riding on the POW built Burma/Thai railway and rode elephants! We returned to Bankok at approx. 6pm having spent the trip sleeping, reading and missing our JourneyDog and in great apprehension that our little bubs was soon to be on board!

Late yesterday we received the information that our egg fertilisation was going well. 5 grade one embryos at day 3 and 3 gade 2 embryos! JG and I were lifted greatly in spirits to read this as our fear was that with 8 out of 18 follicles that we may not have any to freeze, however things worked out there also! The egg transfer is tomorrow, we are being picked up at 12pm to set off to the doctor.

JG has decided, in the spirit of keeping relaxed that one last massage is in order, tomorrow morning, to ensure she is completely ready for the baby growing to occur. We have specified to the doctor to but one embryo back, this is due to the uterus size to ensure growing will go well.

JG is in bed exhausted at the moment, and has been there since our return to the hotel, luckily I was energetic enough to get some food for sustinance.

We thank you all for your continued support & hope that you are all dreaming of our baby on the way!

Peace Out,

JM.