Mastitis and Colds + Boo2

It has been a rough couple of weeks.  I had a bout of mastitis which was terrible.  It came on very quickly, Boo2 sucked so hard on my breast that he bruised it and a blockage came and then came the mastitis.  The fever was brutal, I had to get up in the middle of the night (apart from feeding) to have scalding hot baths so that I could sleep.  I felt like I had been hit by a truck and my breast was so, so sore but you have to keep feeding and completely draining it so that the breast can heal.  I am a little ashamed to say that I cried a few times breastfeeding it was so painful.

I went to the doctor and got some antibiotics and things improved pretty quickly after that.  However, hot on it's heels came a cold for myself, JBB and Boo2.  We were all pretty miserable and of course, Boo2 getting was the most worrisome - we listened very carefully for any whooping, which I am hoping that he has escaped from.  JourneyMan and I, plus both of our Mum's got immunised for whooping cough (there has been an epidemic in Australia) when JBB was born so there hopefully shouldn't be a high chance of him getting it.

Finally, the last few days, I have started to feel better and that has made everything a little easier.  I found that I was having a lot of trouble staying patient with JBB during this time, I was just so exhausted.  I even went to the doctor to see about post natal depression because I was very worried about myself.  I feel a lot better now though, thankfully and whilst, JBB can still push my buttons, I am much more patient with him now. 

Now on to Boo2 - he is an awesome kid.  So smiley, he started randomly smiling at us at around 5-6 weeks and now he smiles in response to talking, songs and games - it is absolutely amazing.  He also goos and gurgles and chortles heaps - it is just so nice.  I had to take him to the Children's hospital last week for a follow up on his bronchiolitis that he had back when he was around 6 weeks and they put a camera down his nose to look at his larynx - this was not a good experience for him, he screamed and I had to hold him - I just felt so bad, it was awful for him.  He also has to have an overnight sleep study done to make sure that he doesn't have sleep apnoea.

We also had an appointment with the maternal health nurse at 8 weeks and he is putting on weight like a champ (though still only in the 5th percentile) and she said that he looked the picture of health which was great.  The only bad thing was that she heard a click in his hip so he had to have an ultrasound to check that the ball joint is developing okay.  He has had the ultrasound but I haven't heard back about it as yet - I am assuming that 'no news is good news' but I will have to give them a call this week.

In total in the last few weeks, I have been to 2 doctor's appointments for Boo2, a maternal health nurse appointment and 3 doctor's appointments for myself.  I have had an Xray, Boo2 has had an ultrasound and camera down his throat and is having a sleep study done tomorrow night.  

I am hoping that things settle down in the next few weeks.  

The action for our unit is on Saturday - please cross your fingers that we get a buyer and a good price!!

Breastfeeding

I had a lot of trouble breastfeeding JBB, my supply was low so he was always topped up with formula.  This is despite the fact that I pumped for 40 mins after each feed and I constantly tried to increase my supply but unfortunately, to no avail.  I was upset and not upset about this because I felt like I had done everything in my power to give him the best start.  I did not want my boy to be hungry, so the formula was a God send.  I was able to breastfeed, supplementing for 5 months, I felt good about it.

So, this time, I knew a couple of things - there was no way that I could pump for 40mins after each feed  with JBB being a toddler - it would take almost 2 hours by the time I had fed Boo2, settled him and then pumped and this 6-8 times a day - it just was not a viable option.  So, I researched milk supply as much as I possibly could and came up with a cocktail of supplements (fenugreek, blessed thistle, brewers yeast and alfalfa) 3 times a day from the day of the c-section.  I also breastfed Boo2 exclusively  for the first 6 weeks, not missing a feed so as not to affect the supply.  

Now at 8 weeks, things seem to be going pretty well, supply is good and Boo2 is starting to fill out.  He certainly has grown since the last time we have been to the maternal health nurse - I am looking forward to seeing how much for the two month check up in a few days.

Breastfeeding itself does not come easily to me though.  I only feel comfortable at home, there is no way I can breastfeed in public, I am just not that confident.  One of the reasons that I am not that confident is that I use a pillow and a nipple protector and I feel really uncomfortable if I don't have those with me.  The other issue is that we do the normal hold on the left side but on the right, we always do the football hold and that is virtually impossible out and about.  I also don't feel comfortable flashing my bits around to everyone.  This is ironic, since after 6 years of IVF treatments and pregnancy, I have flashed my bits to so many strangers that it is beyond count - how can I feel uncomfortable now with something so natural - I don't know, but I do.

I am also not an earth mother, love every minute of breastfeeding, type of woman.  I feel vaguely uneasy about it.  There is a feeling of claustrophobia when I breastfeed and this is exacerbated because JBB always wants to be kissing and talking to Boo2.  Then of course, JourneyDog who is Woolly wants to push his way on to my lap so I feel covered in people.  I am a person who likes my own space and these days there are so many beings who are on me, I feel a bit stressed about it.

Don't get me wrong, I am super glad I am able to breastfeed my darling Boo2, he deserves the very best start in life.  I just wanted to own up to my feelings over this very natural task.  I definitely admire any earth mother warrior who can breastfeed in public, unfortunately, I am just not one of those people.

JBB

JBB is all at once trying my patience and being totally gorgeous.  He is most definitely a toddler and is demanding his own way on many things.  I try to give him a choice most of the time but there are some non-negotiables (like holding hands in car parks and brushing teeth!!).  

I have been super proud of how he has taken to being a big brother, he is great - he loves Boo2 heaps.  It is amazing to see how he treats him and talks to him - he is really kind and loving to him.  He says 'Oh sweetie, what's wrong?', 'It will be okay, sweetie' when Boo2 is crying.  Every morning he comes to see him and says 'hello little fella' and gives him a kiss and a hug.  I'm proud of how he speaks to Boo2 because he has obviously learned how from us - that makes me feel like we are doing a reasonable job. 

He doesn't really have his afternoon sleep much anymore, which makes him very grumpy (and me a bit grumpy too) but 'quiet time' is also a non-negotiable - he spends this in his room and it is always a bit of a battle.  I hear him singing songs in there or telling stories, sometimes I hear him call people on his pretend phone.  Even though he is supposed to me quiet - it makes me smile when I hear him.  My younger sister says he has a  case of FOMO (fear of missing out) - I heartily agree.

He has remained a pretty cautious kid but day care has really helped him to come out of his shell.  I took him to the indoor park the other day with some girlfriends and their kids and he really joined in - previously, he would have hung back and asked me to go in with him - last week, he barrelled in on his own and played up a storm with the other kids.  Even though on one hand, I feel guilty about him going to day care, on the other, I think that he has a wonderful time and it has really helped him to socialise.  Last week, he got put into the kinder room for a little bit as he will be making the transition soon and he was so proud of himself, he told me about it around 10 times.

He loves playing with other kids - he absolutely adores all of his cousins.  He had a sleepover at my older sisters place on Saturday night and is still talking about how much fun he had.  I am looking forward to when Boo2 is walking and they are able to play and have fun together.  It makes me so happy that they will both have a built in mate for the rest of their lives - wonderful.  I just hope that we can help to nurture a lovely sibling relationship between the two of them.

He's at the age where he says funny things and I am sure that JourneyMan and I have bored many people telling him about the cute things that he says and does.  He is addicted to porridge at the moment and we always have a couple of flavours on hand.  He likes to say 'Which one my want, Mummy?' then he pauses to think 'Ummmmm, that one' - it's a little ritual every morning and it makes both JourneyMan and I smile. Interestingly enough, JBB has all of a sudden I have gone from being 'Mummy' to 'Mum' and now, strangely 'Mumma' - I don't know why.

On the other hand, he also can be so frustrating I want to scream.  I will ask him to do something and he says 'no' (over and over again).  I tell him to stop doing something and he won't.  When he goes to bed he wants his cars, his trains, his dummy washed, his nappy changed, his water bottle filled up, he asks for a cuddle, then to be tucked in, then another cuddle and then to be tucked in again.  In essence, he is a toddler asserting his independence and most of the time I am proud of that (sometimes I just want to tear my hair out).

I can't believe that this little boy who I nestled into the small space in my neck, he was so tiny when he was born, is turning 3 next month.  What a wonderful 3 years it has been and how time has flown.