It strikes me that I am quite a different person than I was a year ago. I was totally frenzied. Understandably so, I believe as the stakes were so high. There wasn't a moment unaccounted for in the lead up to the trip, I was either planning, packing, researching, blogging or thinking about the trip and what was going to happen. That being said, once I got there I chilled out enormously. Oh I was still nervous and anxious but definitely more chilled out.
The past year has been the most joyous of my life. Every moment that I look at our darling JBB, I thank goodness that he is in our lives. Even when he is giving us the big oo-wah-aa's, he is delightful!!
In other news, I had a bit of a breakthrough when speaking with my bestie. I was telling her about the counselling and what I had felt and for the first time, I didn't cry when I remembered those first two cycles - it is like a weight has lifted off me. I talked to JourneyMan about it as well as my Mum and cried floods but I think in shining a light on those deep, dark feelings within me - the shadows have up and fled.
Thank you for your thoughtful comments - I appreciate each and every one of you, you are so helpful and supportive.
Today, my Mum and Dad dropped in briefly and of course my Dad said about JBB 'he's a little miracle' as he does every time that he sees him. This time it didn't piss me off because deep down I didn't think I deserved it. I just smiled and agreed - he sure is and I am his Mum!!