Showing posts with label worry. Show all posts
Showing posts with label worry. Show all posts

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Holding On

Like most around the world, I have held my darling son tighter over the past fews days - I have played with him more, I have not wanted to let him out of my sight.  My heart is grieving for the parents, family and friends of the children and teachers that died in New.town.  It's incomprehensible to me that these poor parents sent their children off to school, I would have thought not worried in the slightest and that this senseless act would happen.

As a parent, I think that has made us all feel a little sick.  That which we have no thought to worrying about, occurring in such a horrifying manner.  It has made me ask the question 'is there any way to bring up a child safely?'  I am a bit of a worrier by nature and though I do try to minimise the worry, I do tend to try to think of every possible way to keep my son safe but really, how can we when such terror lurks in the world.

My country is not perfect, nor is it a safe haven where nothing bad happens but I am very grateful that we have very strict gun laws.  Gun laws that were tightened significantly in the wake of the horrifying Port Arthur Massacre in 1996 in which 35 people were gunned down.  The gunman, who has been said to have some mental issues (I mean surely anyone who guns down 35 people does, right?) but was able to to buy a gun without a gun license or even a drivers license.  My Mum's second cousin was killed in the massacre and it devastated our country.  The government initiated a 'buy back' of guns, funded by a tax payer medicare levy that cost $350 million.  At the time I remember thinking 'worth it'.  

I know that the United States has much greater population and prevalence of guns amongst the population than we had but I hope that the government can enact some tighter gun laws, in my humblest of opinions, this can only make a positive difference.  As I say, this is not to say that my country is perfect, indeed there have been a couple of worrying murders over the past few months of women by men (who were let out of jail despite having extension criminal records and one of whom a judge referred to as being 'not able to be rehabilitated') - I walked the 50 metres to my car in the city on Saturday night very carefully and with breath held until I got in the car and locked the doors.

My heart breaks for the poor people of New.town - I hope that they are able to grieve and mourn their losses in private, away from the glare of the media.  I can't imagine what these poor souls are going through and the days, weeks and months ahead of them much stretch out into eternity.  I hope they find peace.

Bit of a rambly post, I have not meant to be preachy but it is just so hard to imagine that something like this could even happen.  I don't actually understand how another human being could do this - to me it seems that they must be a part of a completely separate species.  It is so incomprehensible.





Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Worried...

I am sure that you are all sick to death of the talk about the cramps but my goodness, they are pretty bad at the moment. I feel like I only really had a week or so of a reprieve when I started the progesterone and now they have come back with a vengeance, tonight is particularly bad. At last Friday's scan, my cervix had also shortened, not significantly (4mm - am hoping it is just the difference in the measuring by the sonographer) but enough to worry me. Cap that off with the fact that JourneyMan has finished his job and has not got a new one yet, I am in a bit of a hole of worry. I am hoping like hell that the cervix hangs in there because we need the money from my job right now - I am feeling quite alot of pressure. Don't get me wrong, JourneyMan is doing everything possible to get a job but I am feeling quite breathless with the crushing weight of responsibility right now.
My Dad also seems to be deteriorating quite rapidly. He had been in the hospital for 3 weeks but he got out just in time for him and Mum to go with some friends to Norfolk Island, I think it will be the last time he can go on holiday. The specialists have reiterated that there is nothing further that they can do about the hydrocephalus but they also said that he would deteriorate much quicker if he got any infections and he has had pneumonia which hasn't helped matters. It is such a tough situation because he cannot reason about the situation and is getting more agressive and paranoid as time goes on.
On the positive side of things, JBB has been moving around like crazy. JourneyMan has even felt it a couple of times and his face was fabulous when he felt him do a big kick.
I am trying to relax as much as possible but at the moment, I am finding it quite tough. I am hoping JBB is going well. I am hoping that the cervix is all good at this Friday's check. I am hoping JourneyMan gets a job really soon. I am hoping my Dad finds some peace within himself.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

11 weeks & 2 days!

Yay, I am now at 11 weeks and two days and I have to say, I am looking forward to the 12-week scan this Friday. Very exciting in indeed. I have to admit - each time I have had a scan, I have felt comforted for awhile and then the concern comes back again. I am really looking forward to when we reach 14 weeks and have a scan weekly. At first, I thought that was a bit of a curse but now I am seeing it totally as a blessing that I will get to see the little one each week.
I did have a dream on the weekend that really disturbed me, I dreamt that I miscarried. I woke up and was quite upset but then happy that it was only a dream. I have worried a bit about things since then. I had a good talk to my sister on Saturday and she said that she had the same kinds of dreams in her pregnancies. She made me feel better because she kind of validated my worrying - I had gotten a bit worried about my worrying (for crying out loud!!).
I have had a very busy weekend but I will update you tomorrow when I have a chance - need to have a rest right about now!

Starting the Blog Again

So, we are almost ready to start the relaunch of the blog and the Donor Eggs Journey podcast.  We have talked about it a lot.  The boys are ...