Sweet relief & the wonderful benefits of a unicornuate uterus!!

After a practically sleepless night on Monday night, I called the dentist on Tuesday morning to beg for an appointment. Thankfully I went in at 4:30pm and they started the root canal, taking out the nerve in the tooth. Honestly, the pain I was in on Monday night and Tuesday was absolutely horrendous, I despaired of ever feeling good again.

The actual dental work was not my favourite thing either but the sweet, sweet relief last night was amazing and to wake up this morning after sleeping the whole night and being pain free, well it felt like a miracle - I am back to myself again, whoo hoo!!

Now despite a lot of whinging that I do on this blog, I am a pretty positive person, I do like to find the positive in every situation. Now, I have found the positive of having a unicornuate uterus - yeah!! I have been waiting for the 3rd trimester pressure on my bladder but it has not come, I figure it is because JBB and the uterus is pretty much situated all on my left hand side which has caused no pressure on the bladder. This is a beautiful thing because I can generally sleep the whole night through without a bathroom stop - whooo hooo - go the unicornuate uterus!!!

Hell in a handbasket....

Well after everything being rosy, it has all turned to complete shite. Over the weekend, I developed a toothache that has reached gargatuan proportions. I had to go to an emergency dentist yesterday and I am booked in for a root canal on Thursday. In the meantime they have given me some antibiotics to deal with the infection and some strong painkillers (approved by the OB) but the pain killers are not even touching the pain. I have been writhing in agony today. I was hoping to have gotten a lot done but all I did was a lot of lying around trying not to think about going and getting some pliers and pulling out the tooth because it is so painful.

On top of that, every time I ate or drank this morning, I threw up. Now let me tell you, I am a total iron guts - I don't throw up - even with the morning sickness, I felt nauseous but didn't really ever throw up. So I am completely misery guts tonight and feeling very sorry for myself.

I absolutely hate, hate, hate the dentist but I tell you if I could get an appointment tomorrow, I would - the pain is phenomenal. Okay, will stop whinging now - need to sign off and lie down.

Catch up!!

Hi Gang,

Sorry to have been absent for such a long time - I was very, very busy over the past couple of weeks finishing up work. I finished work last Friday and had to give back my work lap top and now (of course) the home computer has died - I have had to come over to my Mum and Dad's place to logon - it is like having my arm removed having no computer - who knew I was so reliant on it!!

So, the last 2 weeks of work were ultra, ultra hectic - I had to handover all of my projects but it was also nice because there were a couple of lunches that I got to go to because of projects finishing - it was really lovely. I was really looking forward to work finishing to spend some time getting ready and relaxing before JBB makes his appearance and we are thrown headlong into parenthood.

The last few days have been absolutely bliss not having the alarm on to wake me up early and taking my time to potter around the house getting things done. We still had alot to unpack from when the floorboards were polished so I have been taking my time each day and organising one room at a time and giving it a good thorough cleaning. I probably went a bit overboard as I worked all day and my back was killing me by last night so I am having a bit more of a restful day today though I have come over to my mum and dad's place to escape the work in the house (my uncle is doing the painting in the kitchen - I was going to do it myself but it was all a bit too much).

My mum and I are going to head out to the shops to get few final things for JBB and my hospital bag because tomorrow I am going to work on getting the nursery organised (need to hang some curtains, pain the change table, finishing up washing his clothes etc), pack my bag for the hospital and also organise the nappy bag - I am really looking forward to doing all this stuff!!

Oh - it was absolutely fantastic over the weekend because JourneyMan and I went away for a 'Baby Moon' - of course, Journey Dog who is Woolly also came along and it was probably one of the best weekends that I have ever had!! It was so relaxing, the place that we stayed at was beautiful and cosy and JourneyMan and I had some lovely long chats about all of the upcoming changes in our lives - I have to say, I can't remember being happier in my life than I am right now.

On Monday, I had an appointment with the OB and he said that everything was going 'perfectly' and that both Journey Baby Boy and I were progressing wonderfully. I hope that this continues over the next weeks - wow, only 4 weeks tomorrow until we meet our gorgeous little boy!!

I have SOOOOOO much catching up on blogs to do - I am very sorry that I haven't been reading and commenting - I hope we can get our computer fixed asap so that I can see what everyone is up to!!

The Baby Shower

Well the much dreaded and panicked over baby shower was yesterday and it was a really, really wonderful day. I am SOOOOO glad that I had it and didn't let my neurosis rule my life. My family and friends were so wonderful and generous, I am completely touched.

The lead up week to the shower was pretty full on. We moved back home to our house on Tuesday night and we still have not completely unpacked the house. I have let go of my need to have absolutely everything perfect by the time that I finish work - basically because it is impossible but also because I would be pushed to the limit to do so. The people at work finally realised that I am finishing next Friday and they all went into a panic and have been asking me to help out with heaps of extra stuff. I have realised that my last week is going to be a hectic one and then hopefully I will have 5 weeks of relaxing and pottering around the house getting ready for the arrival of Riley.

Friday was a pretty busy day, I was up early to have my 32 week scan and happily, JBB is going along fantastically. He is growing extremely well - indeed he already weighs 4lbs, 5 oz's - whoo hoo! Everything was great so I am absolutely over the moon! The rest of Friday I spent getting my hair cut and coloured (I feel so much better!) and cooking up a storm with my mum for the baby shower.

On Saturday, we went to the market to get a few last things for the shower, so I was up early and then I headed home, quickly got ready and went over to help my mum with the last preparations. My bestie and older sister also came along to help out getting everything done and then everyone started arriving at 1pm. It was lovely to catch up with everyone and I was really overwhelmed by their generosity.

My mum said to me - how amazing is it that this is your baby shower? - and it was, totally amazing. I couldn't help but think of the many other baby showers that I had been to and cried on the way home, wishing it was me. In my heart, I always knew that I would have a baby shower for me and my forthcoming child - I knew that I wouldn't stop until I was holding my own baby in my arms, regardless of how they would get there - donor eggs, surrogacy, adoption. It was a wonderful day, one of the best days. It means so much to me that I could celebrate the the joy of welcoming JBB into our lives with the people that mean so much to me. I felt a little bit more of myself again and the joy of it is completely overwhelming.

I am lucky and blessed, I absolutely know this. I have read back over some of my past posts and realise that I have been fairly negative about the pregnancy. This is not actually how I feel, I have had worries, yes but there has never been one moment that I have not been amazed and grateful at being able to experience this pregnancy myself - I guess that may have not come across as I have used the blog mainly to vent my frustrations.

There is less than 6 weeks to go of this pregnancy and I am determined to enjoy every last minute of it.

Excitement!!

I have started to get really, really excited now! There is so much going on and so much still left to do but I have started to allow myself to really get excited now. I say 'allow myself' because most of the time during the pregnancy I have put the stoppers on the excitement. Firstly, I wanted to get to 12 weeks before I could get excited, then I wanted to get to 20 weeks because that seemed like a good milestone. Then I was aiming for 29 weeks because 90% of babies survive if they are born at this point, now I am 31 weeks and I feel like I can finally get excited about our little JBB.

Alot of this is because of a conversation that I had with another contractor at work, his wife is 4 weeks behind me and last week he was very happy that they had reached the 3rd trimester. He also said that he realised that the worrying doesn't stop about the baby for the rest of his life now and that really set a light bulb off in my head. I am never going to stop worrying that something may happen to our JBB but I am now not going to stop me getting excited about meeting him and taking care of him. I am sure that most of you are thinking '**sigh**, about time!!' and I wouldn't blame you, gosh, I have been doom and gloom alot throughout this pregnancy - grateful - yes, cautiously optimistic - yes but happy and excited - well, that has just kicked in now - better late than never hey!! I am going to have to make the most of every minute over the next 6 and a half weeks until our precious little bundle is born!

In other news, we are still living at my Mum and Dad's place, we are back in our own place tomorrow (yay!!). It hasn't been as bad as I thought it was going to be but all the same - I will be happy to have my own space back again! It has been pretty restful not thinking 'I have to do this and this and this' every minute of the day and the weekend was pretty cruisy, thank goodness. There is still quite a bit to do at our house, though most of the big things have been done - the backyard is a bit of a bugger though - I have to see what we can do there quite quickly. I am hoping to get the painting in the kitchen done by the end of this week and hopefully the kitchen floating floors and the last few items can be finished by the end of next week, that would be fabulous! I only have 2 weeks of work left and I am looking forward to finishing up. I have the baby shower this Saturday, I am not really looking forward to it that much but I am sure that it will be nice on the day.

Well, best be off - hope you all are well, I have alot of blog reading to catch up on!!

Overwhelmed....

I have been a bad, bad blogger. Time seems to be slipping away without me even knowing it and the crazy part of it is, I have badly needed to blog to get some of the emotional turmoil from me but just haven't had a chance to sit down and do it.

Firstly, let me just update you on where everything is at with the various areas of our lives.

JourneyBabyBoy - is going very, very well. He is growing gangbusters though I only know from the feel of him because the weekly scans are over and done. Last Friday felt a bit weird cos I didn't have to get up and go to see my little man. He is moving around quite alot and I have heard of some pregnant ladies complaining that their little one keeps them up at night with movement, I love each and every move as it provides me with assurance that he is all well and good. That being said, it is getting harder and harder to sleep so I do understand where these mums-to-be are coming from but for me, if I have to be woken at night, that is a reason that I am happy with (an example of a reason why I have trouble sleeping at night is that JM and I watched Paranormal on pay TV the other week and I woke up in fear a few times the night after - der, I mean how dumb can I be?!?!). Anyway, the upshot is that JBB is going well and my stomach seems to be doubling in size on a weekly basis which is great!! I have an appointment with the OB on Monday (I am on appointments every 3 weeks at the moment) and so I am hoping to continue on in the good books! Oh and I forgot - my second gestational diabetes test came up negative - whoo hooo!

At home the renovations continue apace and the laundry is done (waiting for it to dry and the kitchen is almost done, we just have the painting and floors left to go and I am hoping that the much longed for dishwasher is installed by the time I get home tonight. We have the electrician coming tomorrow to finish off the electrical work and over the weekend we need to move all of the house into the kitchen, bathroom, garage and laundry so that we can get the floorboards polished and we are going to be living with my Mum and Dad for at least a week. I am not really looking forward to this because I just have had a run in with my Dad today because of his agressive shouting at my Mum, he was being extremely bullying and blaming her for his situation and even though I know that the sickness contributes to this, I cannot have him bullying my Mum in my presence - it's not on. After they left for awhile, I was so shaken that I cried for awhile. Anyway, moving in with them for a week is not going to be really fun - I am pretty much dreading it but we don't have anywhere else to go.

So, onto my emotions - as you can see from the above - the rollercoaster continues. I am finding everything extremely overwhelming at the moment and am finding that the smallest thing will cause me to overreact hugely. The main way that I deal with emotionality is to remove myself from people as I am extremely afraid of yelling at the them, saying something that I regret, reacting to something that they said or crying in front of them. It makes me very happy that I have a flexible work environment and can work from home alot of the time so that I can avoid being in situations where I will get emotional around people. The trouble is that for the past few weeks I have had people in the house pretty much the whole time so I have not had an escape and things have happened - especially today. I had the run in with my Dad but also had a run in with one of my bosses - I apologised for it but am very unimpressed with my behaviour. I feel like I am drowning in emotions!

The other reason that I am feeling overwhelmed is that JM and I went to a Post Natal, Early Childhood class on Monday night and honestly, they must have packed 8 hours worth of information into the 3 1/2 hour class - my head was absolutely spinning. This class really brought out the fear in me - What if I can't cope? What if I have waiting all this time and gone through all of these things and am a terrible mother? What if I wreck this little JBB's life? Honestly, I guess it is not just about being overwhelmed and hormones but it is just straight out and out fear. Hopefully I will get myself together soon.

I will try to update again in the next couple days but with having to pack and move practically the whole house, I think it will be after the OB's appointment on Monday. I will also endeavour to catch up on where you are all at - I haven't had a chance to read any blogs - hope you are all going well!!

Lots of information...

It has been a tough, tough week. I don't think I have ever been so exhausted in all of my life. Let's start with the work front:

JourneyMan has started his new job and is going well, sounds like he is enjoying it though of course there is a steep learning curve in those first few weeks! My work is going okay though I only have around 5-6 weeks left and I have absolutely stacks to do!

On the home front, the renovations are in full swing. We had all of the new appliances delivered on Tuesday (except for the long awaited dishwasher which is on back order - doh!). On Wednesday we had the plumber and electrician come by to do the rough in for the kitchen and on Thursday, the installer put in all of the cabinetry. My goodness, I am blown away by how fantastic it is - we have gone from tiny 1970 kitchen to huge, functional 2010 kitchen - fabulous!! Friday, the electrician came back to put in all of the new powerpoints and a saftey switch (very important!) but he still has a couple of days work still to do. We still need to tile the splash back, paint, get the gas cooktop and dishwasher connected by the plumber and put in the new floating floorboards so this week will be more of people coming and going in the house all week.

I am finding that very difficult as I wasn't able to have an afternoon sleep any day except Friday last week which made me get tireder and tireder as the week wore on. This brings me to my next update.

Pregnancy update. I had my 28 week visit with the OB and everything went swimmingly - JourneyBaby is growing nicely, the cervix is behaving well and we are booked in for the ceaserean on the 19th August - yay!! This is also my older sisters birthday and she is chuffed to be sharing her birthday with her new nephew!! On the same day, I had the glucose tolerance test to see if I am at risk of gestational diabetes and I got the result on Thurday - unfortunately, yes I am at risk. This meant that I had to have another test, a fasting one that would take my glucose levels over 2 hours which I did on Friday. I don't have the result of that test as yet. I am really hoping that I don't have GD as I am worried about my one kidney and hoping that it won't damage it. I feel a bit put upon testing high in the glucose because my glucose levels have always been good before so it was one thing that I wasn't particularly worried about and considering the high risk nature of this pregnancy and all of the additional monitoring, tests and additional drugs and injections I have had to have, I was really hoping to be spared this. I will most likely find out tomorrow.

I also caught JourneyMan's cold during the week so this didn't help matters. I am absolutely exhausted but there is a very real positive side to everything. If I have to go on a special diet for the GD, it will be healthier for JBB. The more the people are coming in and out of the house, the sooner the house will be ready and done! I am hoping that this week will be a better week - hopefully I will throw off this cold and gets some extra sleep so that I can feel a bit better!

Emotions run rife amid renovation chaos!!

My emotions have gone crazy. I am sad, then happy, then angry - boy there is a lot of angry happening - I am up, down all over the place. Honestly, I am really trying to control things but I am finding it almost impossible. Add to that the renovations have started in earnest. JourneyMan and I have spent the weekend ripping out the kitchen, ripping up the revolting lino and getting quotes for everything else that we need done.

When we ripped out the lino in the kitchen, we found that it was covered with a black rubber paper like underlay that had heaps of glue and staples in it. We spent most of today trying to scrape the black crap up and pull out all of the staples. Thankfully all of the staples are out but the black stuff is as stubborn as all get out. Add to this the fact that I have hurt my back doing the scraping and JourneyMan has cold or some sort of sinus thing going on and it is misery city at our house.

We have soooo much to do this week, we need to repair some of the plasterboard because a hole was put in it when the rip out happened, we need to finish the floor in the kitchen. The appliances get delivered on Tuesday, the plumber and electrician come for the fit out on Wednesday and the kitchen is due to be installed on Thurday. I really hope that we get everything done!! JourneyMan starts his new job tomorrow and since he is not feeling well, it is going to be a bit tough for him.

The next 6 weeks are going to be pretty hideous getting the kitchen finished off, finishing all of the painting details, getting the splashback and laundry tiled and then the floorboards polished (we need to move out for around 10 days when this happens) but the great thing will be that the house will then be completely done!! I am hoping to have all of it done by the 15th July, then JourneyMan and I have a Baby Moon planned for the weekend of the 16-17 of July and I will be finished work by then too - I am hoping that we can have a really nice relaxing weekend with everything done in the house!!

In JBB news, he is very active lately which makes me very happy!! I had the second last scan last Friday and the cervix was down to 30mm - they didn't seem worried so I am trying not to as well. I have an appointment with the OB this Wednesday where I will have the gestational diabetes screening - hopefully I will be all clear!

Oh well, I am off for an early night and work and more scaping tomorrow.....

JourneyMan in the house.

While waiting to start my new job, I was watching a episode of '16 and pregnant'. As JG has mentioned, I'm pretty low key and I don't feel much anticipation of coming events. JG would have liked me to have been more active in eagerly anticipating JBB's arrival. I did find, while watching a 16 y.o. attending to her newborn son, that I felt a rush of adrenalin and was quite excited about the arrival of my son in the next few months.

I know I will be an interested parent because my youngest sister was born when I was 10, so I was around little ones early. I've baby sat for my two friends, that each have multiple daughter's. Also my exposure to this, tells me that I will e wrestnjoy his company and be able to look after him.

While looking at baby car seats the other day with JG, I discovered some tops with motorbike/rockstar/cars on them, so once he's born I think I will buy him some cool clothes to roll around in.

I am looking forward to playing games with JBB like peek-a-boo and soft toy wrestling. I am hoping that I can soothe him when he is grumpy by playing some guitar or with some other types of music.

It will be really cute when he's wearing little jumpsuits and swaddling rugs. Once he's older, I'm looking forward to playing ball games and running with him. Most of all I'm looking forward to the multiplication of fun and love between our little family.

Great News!!

Firstly, let me say to all of you - thank you for your comments about my last post about the baby shower - it really helped. So also did having a vent to my mum and then working through the options with my bestie again. Basically I have now vented all of my anger and angst over the whole thing and I am almost finished getting the list of names and addresses together, I am then going to have a break about thinking it and then enjoy the day!! I have realised that my aunt is throwing the shower for me out of the goodness of her heart and whilst there are people coming who I probably wouldn't have invited, I now think - whatever! So, thank you all to allowing me to vent out this prob and to my bestie, who is the best bestie in the world, thanks for always being there - you are fabulous!

In other news, JourneyMan got himself a job - whoo hooo!! SOOOOOOO very happy, relieved and excited!! It sounds like a pretty good one too which is great. I think that it will be a really good development role for him. We went out to dinner tonight to celebrate. It was also 5 years since we met today and it is also 8 years since I have been sober. The 25th of May is a really good day for us!!

Just to catch you up on the news from last week's scan. JourneyMan and my mum came along to this one and all was great until they measured the cervix, which they measured at 29mm, this was 4mm down from last week and only 4mm away from the trouble zone. JourneyMan and I started freaking (my Mum was pretty oblivious because she has trouble hearing and couldn't hear what was going on). The sonographer went and got the doctor and he said that there was a part of the cervix that was hidden that she hadn't measured, so it ended up being 35mm which was a little bit higher than last week so we breathed a huge sigh of relief.

In other news, we have started the ball rolling on getting our kitchen done. This is such great news because we have a kitchen that was done in the 70's and is completely not functional. We will be getting a dishwasher - a hugely coveted item of JourneyMan's and mine - we are very, very excited. We are also looking to get a decking put out in our backyard and getting the floorboards polished all before our little JourneyBabyBoy comes along - it is going to be a busy few months but very rewarding!!

I am SOOOO happy right now - I feel like a huge weight has lifted off me with JourneyMan getting his job (I think that he feels the same way as well). I feel like I can now really enjoy the next few months which is a great relief!!

Thanks again for all of your support, gang!!!

Baby Shower Blues....

I have been away from ICLW for a couple of months and it is great to be back in amongst it. Sorry all, I am not doing an ICLW post this month but welcome aboard and I hope that you stay and read a few posts to see where this blog is at. Sorry, this was not my ideal ICLW post but I really need to get this out.

**Disclaimer: Firstly, I just want to let you know that I am extremely grateful to be in the position of being able to plan a baby shower. I know I am having a whinge but I want you to know that I absolutely realise that there are many of you out there who are at various stages of TTC and running the gauntlet of friends and families baby showers - with your hearts yearning to have your own. My heart is with you gals as I do understand the difficult situation a baby shower is for the IF woman. I am begging you to forgive the self indulgence of the following vent.

Now, I need to have a bit of a vent because being an IF survivor, the baby shower has been very fraught for me over the years. I cannot count how many I have gone to and sobbed all the way home or felt physically sick trying to make myself get ready to go. So, when I found out that I was pregnant, after awhile I started to dream about my own shower and how lovely it would be. To be the one who was having the shower, who was having the baby, who was cooing over tiny little clothes and preparing for a baby to enter my life. It is a beautiful dream.

A couple of months ago, my Aunty very kindly asked if she could throw the baby shower for me and considering the situation that my mum is in at the moment, I thought that this would be a really good thing. After awhile (making sure that everything was going well) I picked out a date and left it at that.

In the meantime, I realised that there was a little issue with my friends. It seems that assimilation back into my group of friends was going to be harder than I thought and why did I need to assimiliate? Of course because of the journey through IF - as my journey progressed, I withdrew further and further into myself - I found it very hard to be in any social situations. The upshot being that because I didn't go to many gatherings last year, I was left off the list of invitees. Very disappointing and certainly of my own making. I have spoken about this before that I thought that once I was pregnant, I would go back to being myself. This was not really the case. I continued to worry all through the pregnancy and I still found it hard to be in social groups, though I did catch up with quite a few friends one on one.

The fact that I was being left off the list of invitees to any social gathering made me throw a bit of a childish tantrum - "I'm not having a baby shower" - mainly because deep down I was afraid that noone would come. I also must mention here - I am not a giver of parties, I have never been, I really don't like them and I do find them stressful, I find I am good with people one on one but a group scares the hell out of me basically. Anyway, I got over that and then last week, I started to think about the guest list. I realised that if I invited children to the shower it would be 26 adults and 28 children coming. Now, call me a selfish, diva, princess but I did not want my baby shower to be a children's party. This guest list was gotten to by thinking - if I ask this person, then this one has to be invited and even though I am not close to this person, I will invite them so that I won't hurt this person - in itself, just getting the list together was an arduous task because I don't want to hurt or offend anyone.

My Aunt had told me that her best friend was coming (I have met this woman about twice) and my MIL is inviting her best friend and I knew my mum would want to invite a couple of her friends. My aunt had said that her best friend wanted to do the invitations for me and honestly, I am not an invitation person, I was just going to send around an email. It seemed to me that more and more, the shower was becoming less about me and more about everyone else.

I discussed my dilemma with my bestie last week end and after a couple of hours of tossing the situation around with all sorts of different options, we hit on a plan of having 2 events, one at my Aunt's place with only close family (including my two nieces and my 3 nephews if my sister wanted to bring the boys) and then go to a cafe with my girlfriends on another day. It wasn't a perfect solution but I felt bad about asking people not to bring their kids.

I then had lunch with my older sister during the week. She has 3 boys and I thought she would be able to give some good advice about how offended people would be if I asked them not to bring their kids. She was excellent and provided wonderful advice. She basically said that 'it's my party and I can ask who the hell I want to'. That made me feel better, better that is until last night.

I went to the footy with my Aunty as usual last night and I was telling her the whole story about how I didn't want it to become a kids party and she was agreeing and everything (I am sure a lot because she didn't really want her house over run with kids), she also seemed a bit put out when I told that there would be about 28 people coming, to which I said no worries because Mum had said that she would have it if there were any problems. Now that was all fine but then she told me she had invited her son's fiance and two granddaughters and honestly I was floored. Mainly because this would mean that I am telling all of my friends and some family not to bring kids but there will be kids there which I think is not fair to them. It also means that I am being unfair to my aunt on the other side of the family and now have to invite my cousin's wife so as not to hurt my aunt. Honestly, I could have screamed (and poor old JourneyMan got vented on a treat when I got home - he has been extremely supportive in this and has not tried to make me feel guilty about inviting or not inviting anyone on his side of the family - he just let me choose).

The fact of the matter is now the shower has the gloss taken off it. It just does not seem to be about me anymore and the intimate, fun shower that I had imagined now will be filled with people who I barely know and me worrying that people are resenting me for being inconsistent on my invitation policy. I don't necessarily think that everything should be about me but I thought that this was one thing that pretty much should be. Now I don't even know for what purpose I would even be having it. My original purpose was just to celebrate quietly becoming a mum but at last count there are more than 30 people coming so it is certainly not intimate anymore. I am tasked with getting all the snail mail addresses of people and honestly, I can't be bothered, I feel like I have enough on my plate at the moment. I never wanted it to be a big deal, just an afternoon tea chatting with my mates.

Now I wonder if I cancel the shower altogether, would I regret it? Or should I just deal with the situation, grit my teeth and endure what the shower has become? I seem to change my mind in every minute. I barely slept last night and I am absolutely exhausted today. I know that there are so many other hardships in the world, I know that many of you girls are going through horrors that I cannot even imagine and I realise that this is not a huge problem. It is just annoying and disappointing because my dream of what my shower was supposed to be is not to be. In a fit of venting last night I said to JourneyMan that I might take my bestie out to a cafe for lunch and call it the baby shower. Maybe that's what I will do.