Firstly, let me just tell
you how grateful that I am to be pregnant.
Every day, I thank God, my angels, my doctors and every other man and
his dog for my family. I am hoping that
this little man, Boo2 will come to us happy, healthy and our wonderful little
family will be complete. Yes, I am very,
very grateful.
But……I am HUGELY
uncomfortable this pregnancy. I can’t
remember it being as bad with JBB. I
definitely weigh more so that is going to be more uncomfortable but I feel like
I can barely function. Last time, I also
didn’t have a 2 year old to chase around and pick up after. I am a bit flummoxed though at what has me so
exhausted.
Yes, there is a lot going on
with my sister’s hen’s day and wedding coming up. Yes, it is tough working and trying to keep a
house running and yes chasing after a two year old has its moments but plenty
of other women do this every day and are not almost confined to the couch with
their house a disgraceful mess and barely a meal being put on the table.
It has been a tough
pregnancy, starting with my Dad dying, extremely debilitating cramps and now
the two vessel cord worry. Emotionally,
this has been way tougher than the pregnancy with JBB but I wouldn’t have
thought that I could barely get myself out of bed in the morning?
I think that the hardest
thing is that I feel like I am a bad mother to JBB at the moment. I don’t have much energy to play with
him. I can’t pick him up because he is
so heavy. My emotions are all over the
shop. One day last week, he leaned on my
boob with his elbow so hard that I burst into tears. He got very upset and frightened but I couldn’t
stop crying. Honestly, I felt terrible
scaring him like that. Not long after,
we were tucked up reading a story on the couch but I have felt awful ever
since. This more than anything else
convinces me that this is definitely our last cycle and child. I am not getting any younger and whilst I
think that there are distinct advantages to being an older mother (a post on
this will be coming soon) but being 41 and pregnant is not really that easy.
Thanks for reading. I really am grateful, just saying.
