Sweet Heart

We have a heartbeat, just one beautiful heartbeat.  What an amazing day!

The scan went really well.  Everything is perfect. The baby is measuring one day ahead and has a heart rate of 122bpm which they said was excellent.  JBB and JourneyMan were both there and it was beautiful to share such a special moment with my boys.

I have to say, I am seriously relieved that we are not expecting twins. Until they were sure that there was only one, I hadn't let myself feel how truly afraid I was that I couldn't keep a twin pregnancy. Today I realized that there is no reason why I can't take this baby to 38 weeks, JBB went right through, my body knows what to do so as long as I take care of us both, we should be fine.

I am hoping to enjoy this pregnancy. I enjoyed being pregnant with JBB but I was so afraid. I am still determined to keep as much of the fear at bay.

Is there anything more special than seeing the beating heart of a being inside you, such a miraculous day. I'm so thankful that we have gotten this far, I so hope to hold this precious baby in my arms in May. So happy, so excited, so grateful.

Scan Nerves

On Wednesday I had some very, very bad cramps – I was very worried but there was no bleeding so I tried to just think that it was my uterus stretching.  I have still been feeling morning sickness but it has not been as bad as it was earlier in the week.  Last night I was going to make home made pizza for dinner but in the end, I really wanted roast chicken sandwiches – really, really wanted them.  I don’t think it was a craving, just really felt like it.

I am nervous about the scan tomorrow.  There is a chance that we are having twins because we put two embryo’s back and I am nervous about the outcome either way.  On one hand, I would dearly love to have twins as it would complete our family nicely.  JourneyMan doesn’t really want twins though, he is worried about how much work it will be (which I am sure it would be enormous!) but I like to focus on the lovely fact of more love being brought into our family.

The biggest thing that I worry about if it’s twins is getting them born healthy.  I am worried about my unicornuate uterus being too small to accommodate them for the full term of the pregnancy.  I have done plenty of research and whilst it is not common, there are certainly documented cases of successful twin births from a unicornuate uterus.

We did weigh all this up before we decided to transfer two and decided that it was worth the risk.  I had spoken to my fertility specialist about it and he has always maintained (and he should know, he has been in there 3 times when doing laparoscopies!) that the ‘good’ part of the uterus is only a little bit smaller than a normal one – which is a great relief.  My OB also

There is also the fact that I carried JBB to full term without any problems, except for some cramps but I can put up with that.  I don’t know if it’s twins – some people saying they definitely think it is, some are saying they definitely think it isn’t.  The HCG numbers are not convincing and the only thing that makes me think ‘maybe’ is that I am already huge – I look like I am 6 months pregnant already.  This is very subjective though and could also be that I have just put on weight or that I am massively bloated (which I know that I am).  I just don’t know.

Most of all, I am hoping for a healthy baby or babies tomorrow.  At the end of the day, that is all that I worry about – seeing that beautiful heartbeat and knowing the little one is growing and thriving.

The heart of Journey Baby!

There are moments in my life that I have cherished, that I have felt unreservedly joyful and I am so thankful that today was one of those days. The scan went well, we saw and heard JourneyBaby's heart beating 140 BPM and he / she measured 7 weeks and 1 day which is perfect because I am 7 weeks today.

I was totally blown away by the whole experience. When we heard the heartbeat and saw it beating madly - JourneyMan and I looked at each other and both had tears in our eyes. When the sonographer left, we hugged and kissed - it was a beautiful moment - I will treasure it in my heart. I have not been able to wipe the smile off my face all day, I have looked at the picture at least a hundred times already.

It was a day that reminded me of when JourneyMan proposed. He had organised a picnic for us at my favourite gardens in Melbourne (the Fitzroy Gardens) and after we had lunch (he calls what he made salad rolls, I say that beetroot does not a salad make but I digress) - I was lying in the sun dozing and he pulled me to my feet, got down on one knee and he proposed. I was so happy, it is a memory I cherish.

I am so lucky. I am so grateful for meeting an marrying such a wonderful man. I am so grateful for seeing the heart beat of our JourneyBaby. I am grateful for the wonderful support and friendship of all the people that I have in my life - including all of you who have supported me on this blog - thank you from the bottom of my very full heart.

A flurry of activity...

After a couple of weeks of waiting, there was a flurry of activity today. Firstly, I called my Fertility Specialist to book in for an appointment to get a referral to an OB but couldn't get an appointment until 1st Feb but the receptionist (who is fabulous) gave me the names of 2 OB's who specialise in high risk pregnancies and happily, I got in to the one that is connected to the best hospital in Melbourne. It is very pricey (even with our whole shebang private healthcare) but I honestly think it's better to be safe than sorry. Apparently it is very hard to get in to OB's here in Melbourne because of a shortage - when I told the receptionist that I was 7 weeks tomorrow, she said 'hang up the phone and ring now!' which was all very dramatic - I am very thankful that I got in to this doctor.

They also suggested that I book in for the 12 week scan as well, so I have done that and I also have to go back to the GP to get the referral to the OB, so I am booked in for tomorrow morning before the 7 week scan. I am glad that I am going to the GP tomorrow because I am almost out of the Progynova and I still have a few weeks left of taking it so I will need to get that sorted out tomorrow.

We have the 7 week scan tomorrow and I am pretty nervous - I am really hoping that everything is all okay. It is hard not to worry about these things but I am trying to stay as relaxed as possible.

In other news, we finally had some blessed relief from the hot weather and the past few days have been very civilised. Work has been pretty good, really pushing towards the end of the project now which is good - everything is due to finish at the end of February but I have been lobbying for other projects and I am hoping that they can find me something that will tide me over until around the end of July.

That is pretty much it in my world at the moment, I am really hoping tomorrow will go okay!