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Monday, January 21, 2013

Uncomfortable



Firstly, let me just tell you how grateful that I am to be pregnant.  Every day, I thank God, my angels, my doctors and every other man and his dog for my family.  I am hoping that this little man, Boo2 will come to us happy, healthy and our wonderful little family will be complete.  Yes, I am very, very grateful.

But……I am HUGELY uncomfortable this pregnancy.  I can’t remember it being as bad with JBB.  I definitely weigh more so that is going to be more uncomfortable but I feel like I can barely function.  Last time, I also didn’t have a 2 year old to chase around and pick up after.  I am a bit flummoxed though at what has me so exhausted.

Yes, there is a lot going on with my sister’s hen’s day and wedding coming up.  Yes, it is tough working and trying to keep a house running and yes chasing after a two year old has its moments but plenty of other women do this every day and are not almost confined to the couch with their house a disgraceful mess and barely a meal being put on the table.

It has been a tough pregnancy, starting with my Dad dying, extremely debilitating cramps and now the two vessel cord worry.  Emotionally, this has been way tougher than the pregnancy with JBB but I wouldn’t have thought that I could barely get myself out of bed in the morning?

I think that the hardest thing is that I feel like I am a bad mother to JBB at the moment.  I don’t have much energy to play with him.  I can’t pick him up because he is so heavy.  My emotions are all over the shop.  One day last week, he leaned on my boob with his elbow so hard that I burst into tears.  He got very upset and frightened but I couldn’t stop crying.  Honestly, I felt terrible scaring him like that.  Not long after, we were tucked up reading a story on the couch but I have felt awful ever since.  This more than anything else convinces me that this is definitely our last cycle and child.  I am not getting any younger and whilst I think that there are distinct advantages to being an older mother (a post on this will be coming soon) but being 41 and pregnant is not really that easy.

Thanks for reading.  I really am grateful, just saying.

3 comments:

  1. I am sure that having a two year old and being pregnant is exhausting! I have a friend who is pregnant, on bed rest, and has a 1.5 year old. I literally cannot imagine how she is coping. Sounds like you have been through so much this pregnancy already - sending you some energy to get through!!

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  2. Hey - I was like that in my pregnancy *without* the 2 year old! I would come home from work, sleep on the couch, get woken to eat (a meal cooked by my husband) and then go to bed. One weekend at my mother-in-law's I spent 80% of my time sleeping - it was her 70th birthday celebration. I felt way better in the 3rd trimester - right up till 3 weeks before birth when sitting for any length of time became uncomfy. You love JBB and he knows it - regardless of occasional emotional blips - and you're giving him the most amazing gift of a sibling. Hang in there - sending hugs. x

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  3. I seriously could have written this post, and in fact, plan on writing one similar in the next couple days. I don't know what it is, but this pregnancy seems to be kicking my backside too. I swear I am way more tired, and I don' remember being this uncomfortable last time. You would think that since everything is supposedly pre-stretched from your last pregnancy that it wouldn't be as uncomfortable this time, but I swear its worse.

    I obviously don't have any awesome advice because I feel the same way on all fronts, right down to getting dinner on the table and not spending enough time with Little Bean. All I can say is you are in good company.

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