Yes, I have felt JourneyBabyBoy move - it has to be one of my favourite feelings that I have ever had - so beautiful, so precious - I am truly blessed. I have songs that I sing to JourneyDog that is Woolly when I get home from work, or really just when I feel like singing to him (I have a terrible voice but I do enjoy singing!!) and now I have started to sing to JBB.
Some days I still feel that the whole experience is very surreal and then I have an ultrasound and see him wriggling about or I feel him move or I see my belly swell more and more each day and I am SOOOOOO happy. There were many times that I despaired of these days ever coming, that I would ever see two lines on a pregnancy test, that I would ever feel the unbridled joy of a baby moving inside me and now I am thankful for every tear shed and every struggle that we went through because I am paying attention. I have changed significantly. Previously, I was a bit of a bull at a gate and would just try to push my way through everything but now that JBB and I are together, I think twice about pushing myself too far - I say no if I am tired and I rest and take care of myself way better than before. Even with every cramp, dizzy spell or nausea, I am thankful to be able to have this experience.
It sounds totally cheesy but I was watching an episode of Guilana and Bill today and they were speaking to a counsellor and the counsellor said to them - what would it mean to you to be childless? This is something that I refused to be. I am proud that I didn't let our dreams float away on a sea of problems and treatments. I am proud that our relationship grew stronger as a result of al lthat happened - I am absolutely grateful to be in the position that we are now, nearly halfway through the pregnancy and meeting our darling boy.
Sometimes I think about the fact that JBB is not my genetic child and more and more each day, I feel like he is a part of me - a very special miracle who I am so excited to meet and love with all of my heart. It is a nice time at the moment, a secret time between myself and JBB - only I can feel him you see (though JourneyMan has a chat to him every day) and I love it so much when he gives me a kick to let me know he is there.
This is such an amzing post girl, so beautiful. I am so happy for you and can't believe 19 weeks have passed, wow. xoxo
ReplyDeleteI loved fetal movement as well. And like you, the war I fought getting to pregnancy made me pay so much more attention to each and every second of being pregnant. There wasn't anything I hated about being pregnant, or that I wished away, even the heartburn and reflux. Women who fight like we did make us better mothers than we would have been had we not had to fight so hard. We take NOTHING about our children's lives for granted.
ReplyDeleteI am so glad you didn't give up. I was amazed at the lengths you were willing to go to get to JBB, and now that I have been in a situation in which I had to think about giving up, I understand your strong desire even more. You went through so much more than I ever did or thought I could. This child is blessed beyond words. The fact that he is not bilogically yours means nothing. You ARE his mother. In the eyes of God and everyone on this planet. Your egg just happened to have to get here through a different route. That egg was always meant to be yours. God put it in that woman with the design that she would give it back to you when the time was right. She had to carry it for you so that it could be preserved for the day JBB was conceived. That egg was YOURS. JBB is YOURS. God knew what He was doing.
Give JBB an extra hug through the belly for me.
*hugs*
This was my favorite pregnancy milestone (well, aside from the birth)! Loved feeling those movements. So happy for you!
ReplyDeleteAwww, I love feeling Baby Girl kick away. It's a wonderful feeling. She finally kicked for her daddy to feel this weekend. That was exciting. Oh, and Friday night, she kicked so hard I could see it on the outside of my belly. Those days are coming for you!
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