Tuesday, May 29, 2012
Well, we have moved but it really was a case of ‘the best laid plans…’.
It all started on Wednesday night last week when I was just about to put JBB to bed. JourneyMan wasn’t home yet and I had kept JBB up a little later so that he could see his Dad before he went to bed. Before I knew what was happening, JBB had climbed onto the kitchen bar stool and had fallen off it flat on his back and I heard his head whack onto the floorboards, it was sickening.
He started screaming immediately and I gathered him up to soothe him when I felt that the back of his head had already swelled up as big as a fist. I was beside myself, I felt like a terrible, neglectful mother. I called the ‘nurses on call’ phone line and they recommended that I take him to emergency because of the height that he fell from.
4 and a half hours later, we finally made it home with our little monkey who they declared probably had a bit of a headache but was okay otherwise. I only got about 3 hours of sleep that night and we were already seriously behind in our packing.
On Friday, the day of the big move, we were up at 5am packing and getting everything ready – we were not really ready at all for the removalists to come, we still had mega amounts to fix. I was already tired when the removalists came but we all had to soldier on. Let me tell you a little about Friday. It rained. A lot. In fact, we got a months worth of rain in the one day. This did not make the move go any easier.
I also critically misjudged the amount of work that this move was going to take and really when I look back, the last move that I planned was only my stuff from a one bedroom place. Now our stuff has tripled (and then some!) and it took way longer. The heating wasn’t working at the new house and honestly, it was soooo freezing.
Thankfully by the afternoon, the heating was fixed and JBB and JourneyDog had arrived to lend their hands to the move. Well, honestly – their reactions to the new house made all the work worthwhile. They ran and ran, laughing and barking and both were just delighted at the space that they now had to explore. It made me sigh with relief, I would have been very upset if they didn’t take to it the way that they have.
It was not a perfect move. We spent the rest of Saturday and Sunday cleaning the old place and readying it for the new tenant so the new house is a bit of a debacle. So, I am going to have to take small steps at a time but I swear to you all that this house will be nice and organised and absolutely, 100% baby ready in the next few weeks.
It is funny but I was saying to my bestie that I had previously had doubts about how I could handle another baby in the house. I don’t feel that way any more. I feel like I can now handle whatever comes my way. I may wail for awhile, or procrastinate or get upset or want to throw my toys from the cot but as always, I will pick myself up, dust myself off and get busy being the best mum, wife, sister, daughter, niece and friend that I can be!!
The house is a mess, and I am bloody exhausted but I am very excited about what the future holds!
Tuesday, May 22, 2012
We have been in our little house for nearly 6 years – I am staggered by that! Now we are packing up six years of memories. Before we moved in to this house, we weren’t married or even engaged, I had never even lived with a man before. We weren’t infertile, we didn’t even know what a cycle was, we weren’t parents. We didn’t have our darling JBB, we didn’t even have our little JourneyDog of Wool. I was a different person then.
It is nice that we feel the need to move because we became a family and our family has become too big for our house. There were times in the journey that I didn’t think that this would ever happen. I sometimes think that there are memories that I would like to forget, such as howling in pain after I went to egg pick up and there were no eggs but would I enjoy being JBB’s Mum so much if I didn’t have that memory? Would I delight in the fact that every day he says ‘Mummy’ over and over again – I assure you, I never get sick of it.
We’ve danced in that house, we’ve loved in that house, we’ve grieved in that house but most of all, we have lived. We live a pretty quiet life. We have friends that we see, we have family that we celebrate and commiserate with. We work, we play and we rest. Mostly, we have each other. My life is filled with love and if I have had some grief along the way, it is a small price to pay for the amazing love that I have in my life.
For the past few months, I have been doing a lot of questioning. Why is it so hard for me and not others? Why, out of all my siblings, did I seem to get the defective bits? Why do I even want another child, why can’t I be satisfied with one? Why, why, why? Over the past couple of weeks, I’ve stopped questioning why, because really, what the hell does it matter? I feel good that I let myself question and rail against the answers because I feel like I have a modicum of peace.
We are clearing a lot out as we move – I love a good purge of stuff, it feels great. I will take the memories with me, though - the good, the bad, the joyful and the sad – they’ve made me who I am and now I look toward our new house. A house that has space for our family to expand once again. I am really ready for this next cycle. My arms, my mind and heart are open wide.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
Yikes – where is the time going? The plan itself has been going very well, I am losing weight consistently and I have been doing many of my ancillary fertility treatments. The move has made things extra busy, we are now full on in the midst of packing up to go to the new house as well as keeping everything spick and span for the open for inspections on our current place – a bit of a tricky business I tell you!! In true JourneyGirl style – I have spreadsheets galore for the move (cue JourneyMan rolling his eyes). There are timeframes, schedules on when to pack and all of the things that you have to do in a move! We are also using this opportunity to declutter and clean up things that have been needing it for a while.
There has been quite a lot of movement cycle-wise in the past week because I learned from the clinic that my usual doctor was going to be at a conference in Japan on the day of our scheduled transfer. This sent me into a bit of a spin because I trust this doctor and I don’t know the other doctor. Said I could either have the transfer with the new doctor or they could move the the transfer to 2 days earlier and then I could have the doctor that I normally do.
It was a little bit of a problem because the accommodation that I had already booked and paid for is non-refundable. I thought long and hard about it and felt that I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I didn’t move the dates a couple of days and had the other doctor and it didn’t work. In the end, I decided to move my flight to 2 days earlier and stay in Thailand a little bit longer. I saw it as a bit of a sign that I am supposed to have a little more rest after the transfer, rather than getting on a plane 2 days later which I have done for the past 2 cycles. I will have an additional 2 days of R & R which hopefully will help (I mean all I have to do is just relax right?)
So, in a flurry of activity today, I have confirmed the new timeline with the clinic, changed my flight and transfers, updated my travel insurance and I am just waiting to see whether my bestie wants to come for the extra couple of days before I book the accommodation. Phew!! There is a lot going on at the moment!!
So – here is the latest plan update – feel free to skip over if you find it boring!
My weight is only down 11.2kg’s in total (though it is down 12.1kg’s from the last cycle). This is great news and I am really happy that I am making a real difference to my weight this time. I also feel a lot fitter and stronger which I think is even more important.
- 3 X 30min Walk / Run sessions – I have changed this to 5 X 20min sessions in the morning at around 5:30am – gets the metabolism going! I did 4 last week before I hurt my knee and now that the knee is better this week, I have already done 2.
- 3 X Weights program at the gym – This one is proving quite tough – I didn’t do any weights sessions last week – I am hoping for 2 this week at the gym tomorrow and Friday.
- Yoga daily – I have kind of given up on this until we move to the new house. I was trying to do it in the loungeroom of a morning after my run but seriously when you have a 20month old and a Woolly dog fighting to sit on you or lick you, well, let’s just say not much relaxation has been going on!!
- Walking – Has been going excellently – last week had 3 X 60min walks with the bestie on our lunchbreaks at work. This week we have already done 2 and have been battling the horrible weather but have still triumphed, I am proud!!
- I have been doing work on the bike 3-4 nights per week which is good.
- Skin brushing daily – I am hoping to find my skin brush in the move but in the meantime I have been doing this every day with some natural fibre loofah’s!!
- Clay bath – I have removed this from regime as I don’t feel good about it and I am trusting my gut!
- Castor oil pack – I did two packs last week and I am hoping for 3 this week!!
- Vitamins and Chinese Herbs – Going very well with these during the week – need to pull my socks up on the weekend as instead of twice a day, have only been doing once a day.
- Fertility Tea – have decided to start this once we have moved.
Mind / Body Connection:
- Imaging, Subliminals, hypnosis – I have been doing this most nights though I am not sure how much it is helping because I fell asleep before she finished the first sentence last night!!
- Mind Map – still haven’t done this one – need to get on to it asap – will probably have to wait until we move.
- Make myself ready for another baby – I do actually feel very ready – certainly more ready than I have felt before the previous cycles and I really think that the house move will be the icing on the cake, we can have a nursery set up all ready for the baby to come to us – yay!
- Meditation – hmmm, still need to get on to this – am going to have to postpone until after the move.
- Relaxation time – I have been having baths with some trashy magazines which I find super relaxing. I also have a family girls day out on the weekend, we are going to have high tea and probably see a movie – yay, should be fun!!
- Bills paid on time – had fallen a whisker behind in this but caught up again today, which is a relief!!
- Taxes complete and up to date – this is done for the most part but I do think there might be an error on it so I am going to review tomorrow and book in again to see the accountant because I think some things were missed.
- Stay within budget – this still needs some work, JourneyMan and I need to find some time to sit down and discuss.
- Room ready for baby – This will be done in the new house, I am really looking forward to it!!
- Bedded down routines for cleaning – we have been going pretty well with this – it helps that we have had open for inspections and such on the house!!
- Bedded down routines for the cooking – mostly just trying to eat everything out of the fridge and freezer before we move!
- JBB started sleeping through the night again last week but now again has been waking up at 4am every day – thankfully he does go back to sleep until 5:30am which is slightly more civilised. JourneyMan and JBB gave me a sleep in for mother’s day – honestly after a 9 hour sleep, I felt brand new!!
- Expectations are going very well – I have been cutting myself a break every now and then so feel pretty good about everything.
A fantastic week in pretty trying circumstances – I am hoping I can keep this level of energy and commitment up for the next 14.5 weeks!!
Monday, May 7, 2012
It has been a pretty hectic couple of weeks. As per my plan (I need to do an update post on the plan but suffice to say it is all going very well), I got all of my taxes up to date and the accountant advised that we would be better off renting at this point and renting out our own place. So, since that meeting, we have been looking at houses to rent and getting an agent to rent out our place and we now we are moving to the new house in under 3 weeks!
The house is beautiful, it has 3 large bedrooms, a nice big living area, a sunroom, renovated kitchen and bathroom and a lovely big backyard for JBB to stretch out his legs in. It is going to be nice to have some space around us as we have been pretty squashed in our place for the past few months. It is only a couple of suburbs away but closer to the city so both of our commutes will be shorter, yay! We will, however, have to move JBB from his current day care, after all the drama at the start, he loves it there now and doesn't want to come home when I pick him up!
All the same, there is part of me that is sad to be leaving our house. It is the first place we have owned. It is the first place that JourneyMan and I lived together. It is the place that we got JourneyDog who is Woolly, it is where the whole of our IF journey has taken place. We have completely renovated the place and I am going to miss it but still, it will be nice to have space around us. Lastly, the new place sends a clear message to the universe that we have a room to fill. We have the space in our hearts and in our house for a beautiful sister or brother for JBB.
I think it's a positive move for our family and I hope that family increases in the near future.